The 5 Worst Songs in America Right Now
I’m not sure what’s happened to popular music in the last 15 years, but it’s safe to say it’s gone from “Really bad” to “How are they even calling this music anymore?” It seems that every day another overproduced, oversimplified excuse for music comes out that would be much better used at Guantanomo Bay. I’m here today to highlight 5 such songs that truly deserve special recognition for their ability to make ears bleed at will.
“I’m Sexy and I Know It”
Is there anything really left to be said about LMFAO? After bringing us the catchy but mediocre polished turds of “I’m in Miami, Bitch” and “Party Rock Anthem,” one would think that this dysfunctional duo would have called it quits by now and enjoyed the millions of dollars they clearly don’t deserve.
How a group that looks like the aborted offspring of Sasha Baron Cohen and a retarded lion can make any claims of being “sexy” is truly beyond me. Every time I hear the astoundingly intelligent lyric, “Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah” a little part of me dies on the inside, and a much larger part of me wants to commit random acts of violence.
Who knew that you could take five repeated phrases and throw them on top of a shitty techno beat and become a millionaire?
It looks like the jokes on us, and the name LMFAO might be a little more prophetic than we realize. These guys are clearly laughing their fucking asses off about how successful their are, while we are forced to listen to their melodic genocide every time a girl is in charge of the iPod.
Happily surprised that “Call me maybe” didn’t make the list…
13 years ago at 7:15 pmI just met you and this is crazy, but here’s my number…call me maybe???? <3 😉
13 years ago at 7:36 pmBut girls love that song, i.e. It can be ok.
13 years ago at 7:36 pm^^something was done here
13 years ago at 1:51 pmAll these songs are fucking old
13 years ago at 7:18 pmBut you didn’t hear them first, right champ?
13 years ago at 7:37 pmSignu heard them before they were gay
13 years ago at 11:51 amSigma Nu knows whats up. This is so 20 years ago. Finally a hipster bro I can connect with.
13 years ago at 2:52 pmI hate the fuck outta SN but this guy is right. They are at least 2 months old, well at least in the city. People out in the country do tend to get music late.
13 years ago at 1:17 amBest part is that LMFAO are an uncle-nephew duo and the older one is nearly 40.
13 years ago at 7:19 pmTo each his* own.
13 years ago at 7:21 pmY’all forgot anything by Pitbull.
13 years ago at 7:27 pmHEY NOW. ALL US PIKES LOVE THESE SONGS. WE PUT THEM ON CD’S WE MAKE FOR OUR GIRLFRIENDS.
13 years ago at 7:33 pmLol
13 years ago at 11:02 pmI nominate “I’m Gonna Love You Through It” by Martina McBride.
13 years ago at 7:42 pmThat song means well….but good Lord it fucking sucks.
13 years ago at 11:23 pmThe column is outdated by the time it’s published. Nice.
13 years ago at 7:59 pmno, every time a girl’s in charge of the ipod we get to hear “could use a wish right now” and other related shit.
i didn’t even bother finding out what the other 4 were, i don’t like this column because you don’t like ‘sexy and i know it’.
13 years ago at 8:09 pmI’m so glad you included “Rack City” on this. My try-hard roommate plays it all the time and thinks it’s FaF even though it sounds like someone is rapping while shoving a dildo up his ass repeatedly. Hopefully he won’t play it any more though since he reads this site like a bible.
13 years ago at 8:38 pmafter he reads that comment of yours and figures out it was him you’re talking about, you better watch out for that dildo boy, cause it’s comin for you.
13 years ago at 9:01 pm