The Alcoholic SEC
If you missed part one of my alcohol-by-conference series, you can catch up here. We’re moving onto the SEC now, though. This round is a little different. It’s not limited to liquor anymore. We’re now working with any form of alcohol in general. Let’s get to it.
Kentucky
Kentucky Deluxe
I know it’s an obvious comparison, but it still makes sense. Kentucky is the homeland of whiskey, so there’s that. But we’re talking about Kentucky Deluxe, which is bottom shelf bourbon. Kentucky football is bottom shelf, too. If we were talking basketball, Kentucky would be Maker’s Mark (also made in Kentucky). In reality though, Maker’s is ashamed to be related to KD.
“We’re still bourbon, asshole. SEC!”
So, what you’re saying is you don’t know shit about the SEC?
13 years ago at 3:53 pmHere’s a good say Moonshine is illegal in the United States, the football players are illegal in Tennessee
13 years ago at 4:19 pmYour grammar are good.
13 years ago at 4:33 pmMoonshine is only illegal if it’s not made following federal regulations. You can buy a jar in pretty much any liquor store in East Tennessee. That said, store bought shine is horrible compared to the real thing.
13 years ago at 12:21 pmSurprised Vanderbilt is on here considering it’s nothing but gelled-up new yorkers that listen to house “music” and nerds. At least that’s my impression.
13 years ago at 5:33 pmThank you for finally admitting that the most intelligent students in the SEC are from the North.
13 years ago at 5:56 pmI’m from Brooklyn, NY but went to UK. Trust me, no one up there has ever heard of Vandy.
13 years ago at 1:21 am…and no one with money lives in Brooklyn
13 years ago at 10:42 amVandy produced Jay Cutler, and Cutler is FaF whether people like to admit it or not
13 years ago at 2:28 pmWhat does having money have anything to do with knowing about a particular university? I don’t get the connection… trust me bro, there are a slew of Ivy League “old-old-old money” universities in the NEast. Besides, people from up North are too arrogant to recognize any school in the South as an academic equal, which is why most of them are NF. I being the exception of course.
13 years ago at 5:05 am^Yeah, when I hear phrases like “old-old-old money” and “arrogance”, I also tend to describe those phrases as “NF.” Sit down while you pee, boy.
13 years ago at 5:54 pmAlso, since Missouri is now in the SEC, their drink can be the four loko. And Texas A&M is Beer 30.
13 years ago at 5:34 pmBeer fucking 30 hahaha.
13 years ago at 7:27 pmSolid column, but I’m a little disappointed with the lack of insults for Kentucky. You tore apart Kansas for being a basketball first school, why does UK get the free pass?
13 years ago at 5:59 pmFuck the SEC…bunch of damn hillbillies and cousin fuckers. One SEC school made it into the US news and world report top 50 universities. In the ACC, we have real class with 7 prestigious universities in the top 50 (For all you rednecks from Athens and Gainesville that some how made it into the top 60, we have two more to counter punch you morons). Some of which were actually attended and founded by future Presidents. Have fun fucking your sisters up in good ole rocky top.
13 years ago at 9:02 pmWith the exception of Clemson, ACC schools don’t have anywhere near the level of fraternal dominance we have in the SEC. Does your greek system control your ENTIRE student government? Do your fraternities have holds over the campus police to where they NEVER interfere with anything? Does your school still have the same hazing traditions it had years ago because of lack of interference by administration? No, no it doesn’t. You can enjoy your 7 spots in a magazine, and we’ll enjoy real fraternity life. Roll Mother Fucking Tide.
13 years ago at 9:14 pmYou’re dumb. Thanks for your retarded 1000 on the SAT input. I’ll take President Jefferson’s school any day of the week over the University of “fuck my sister” Alabama.
13 years ago at 9:54 pmSpot on Dixie.
13 years ago at 9:59 pmIt’s funny to see how much hate the SEC catches, in all venues. If it’s not the dominance of the football, it’s how Coach Cal at UK cheats and now it’s come to this site. Why don’t you trolls sit out these next few plays. Take a breather..
13 years ago at 1:27 amFuck yea Dixie.
13 years ago at 1:28 amYou catch a bunch of shit because the SEC is to universities as Jesse Jackson and all other Black caucus Democrats are to politics. You put yourself in the spotlight and make more noise than any body fucking else, but you really do nothing to actually earn any sort of credibility to what you are actually suppose to be achieving. Sure, you’ll have a fun four years, and a few of y’all will actually get a chance to do something within the confines of your own state if you come from old money, but nobody in the rest of the country really gives a shit about what the SEC has to offer beyond football. The rest of the country sees SEC universities as a fucking joke, and that’s exactly why we have never had a President from the SEC. If you want credibility, get over yourselves and quit acting like morons.
13 years ago at 10:33 am^this
13 years ago at 10:44 am^^Butthurt.
13 years ago at 11:11 amHaha seriously. Where did this guys rant even come from? He just randomly started throwing out facts about the SEC. He wasn’t even arguing with anyone at first
13 years ago at 4:05 pmAw, poor bebe. No one on this site will give you a “tissue” for your “issue” with the SEC. Get over it and Roll Tide.
13 years ago at 4:20 pmPeople from Alabama are stupid
13 years ago at 7:34 pmWow, you really got me there with that comment.
13 years ago at 9:16 amFRATon: Please read any list of notable alumni from Vanderbilt University, an SEC school. Then proceed to feel really fucking stupid.
13 years ago at 7:34 pmThis guy is just pissed that he doesn’t go to an SEC school. And probably doesn’t rage for shit.
13 years ago at 2:09 pmGeorgia= Sweet water 420. Amazing pale ale
13 years ago at 11:52 amI never had Sweet water before until I tried it at hatfield while connecting in Atlanta. And I gotta admit, the Sweetwater blue and Georgia Brown is some of the best damn shit ive ever tasted.
13 years ago at 2:10 pmSweetwater is awesome, but only people from GA have heard of it.
13 years ago at 5:06 pmNegative, its known here in USC. Why would you say something this fucking stupid?
13 years ago at 7:27 pmMabe because I’ve never been to USC… Dick.
13 years ago at 11:52 am*Maybe. Damn it.
13 years ago at 11:53 amyeah its got a big distribution center in Athens. So im sure that its in U.S.C too even though they dont deserve such an amazing taste
13 years ago at 1:38 amHow the hell do you not like gin and tonic? Guess you just haven’t acquired the taste for it…
13 years ago at 8:30 pmPopcorn Sutton. TFTC.
13 years ago at 4:24 pmYou can still get his shit, and legally now. The man was indeed TFTC.
13 years ago at 7:31 pmDid anyone else read this and just think Dorn sounds like he drinks like a bitch?
13 years ago at 4:56 pm