The Awfulness That Is ESPN’s Twitter Account

TheChampionsTour12 years ago

Over the past five years, ESPN has become a hub for awful sports takes and the degeneration of intelligent sports debate. Programming like First Take, Around the Horn and SportsNation have taken ESPN from its once untouchable pedestal as the worldwide leader in sports and has brought it down to nothing more than a channel on which “experts” scream and shout at each other in generalities.

That kind of garbage has now crossed over onto their social media account. I haven’t followed ESPN on my personal Twitter account for some time now. It’s awful. I understand pandering to the lowest common denominator, that’s where all the money is. That’s what they’ve done with their programming, and they’re pretty damn good at it. I’m sure their profit margins have never been larger. However, there is something to be said about the damn near retarded use of their main Twitter account.

It’s like they’ve put their Twitter account, which has well over six million followers, in the hands of the most annoying sports fan you know. Not to mention this is probably one of, if not the best, social media jobs out there and it is in the hands of at least one idiot. A few examples…

Happy #Masters, arguably better than celebrating your birth.

— ESPN (@espn) April 11, 2013

My grandma doesn’t send me a check during Masters week, asshole.

This isn’t Thursday. It’s Masters Thursday.

— ESPN (@espn) April 11, 2013

I thought it was just Thursday.

It’s Breanna Stewart’s world, and we’re just living in it. What. A. Half. #NCAAW

— ESPN (@espn) April 10, 2013

I NEED MORE CLICHED NONSENSE AND I WANT IT NOW. ESPECIALLY ABOUT WOMEN’S SPORTS!

Spending the weeknight watching your team play is your duty as a fan.

— ESPN (@espn) April 11, 2013

What are you, the fucking sports police?

UConn. Louisville. Winner will forever be known as a National Champion. Let’s do this.

— ESPN (@espn) April 10, 2013

That’s generally how championship games work. Thanks for clarifying.

Tim Hardaway Junior. My goodness.

— ESPN (@espn) April 9, 2013

Wait, is this some high school kid’s Twitter account or is this really the best you could come up with during the biggest sporting event of the spring? Oh, both? Thanks for clearing that up.

With only a few weeks left in the regular season, @nhl fans should probably bookmark this page -> es.pn/10UB7FH

— ESPN (@espn) April 10, 2013

Considering you haven’t covered the NHL since Britney Spears was hot, I’m gonna pass.

It’s been an absolutely unreal weekend for Louisville basketball fans.

— ESPN (@espn) April 8, 2013

Absolutely unreal is an oxymoron. Also, stop telling fans how they should be feeling.

J.R. SMITH, ARE YOU KIDDING WITH THESE SHOTS?

— ESPN (@espn) April 7, 2013

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THESE TWEETS?

So this Mitch McGary guy is pretty good at basketball.

— ESPN (@espn) April 7, 2013

#analysis

That Carmelo Anthony is so hot right now.

— ESPN (@espn) April 4, 2013

This tweet would be hilarious back in 2001.

Louisville is a force to be reckoned with right now.

— ESPN (@espn) March 31, 2013

Could you be more specific?

“Not so fast.” – Ohio State Buckeyes

— ESPN (@espn) March 31, 2013

Schools can’t talk. You shouldn’t either.

“We want to get in on this West region chaos.” – Iowa State

— ESPN (@espn) March 24, 2013

Again, schools can’t and never will be able to speak words.

Russ Smith. The definition of pure right now.

— ESPN (@espn) March 23, 2013

PURE WHAT?

It’s Mitch McGary’s world. We’re just living in it.

— ESPN (@espn) March 23, 2013

Wait, I thought it was Breanna Stewart’s world? Thanks for repeating your stupid catchphrase. The drooling masses of people who RT’d it should probably all get in a car accident together.

I nominate ESPN as the worst Twitter account going right now. Criminally terrible, like most of the network. There’s not a more embarrassing large Twitter account than ESPN’s. It’s probably a very well compensated job and to see it run like a goddamn 16-year-old’s personal account really makes my blood boil. I blame Skip Bayless, it just seems right.