The Best And Worst States For STDs
I can proudly say I’ve never had an STD, but that’s only because I cannot so proudly say I’ve never had sex. As I’ve told you in the past, I’m abstinent. It may not be by choice, but still. I’m not having sex, and it’s been a godsend as far as keeping my willy squeaky clean goes. Granted, no girls have ever seen it and can’t vouch for its cleanliness (and probably won’t for a while, if this 21-year cold streak continues) but yeah. It’s still respectable. I think?
I’m so, so alone.
Whatever. Here’s the list of the best and worst states for STDs, with “best” meaning STDs are less prevalent and “worst” meaning they’re more prevalent.
From Fox News:
Best States for STDs
1. West Virginia (48th for chlamydia, 41st for gonorrhea, 49th for syphilis)
2. Maine (49th for chlamydia, 44th for gonorrhea, 43rd for syphilis)
3. Vermont (46th for chlamydia, 46th for gonorrhea, 44th for syphilis)
4. Utah (47th for chlamydia, 45th for gonorrhea, 42nd for syphilis)
5. Wyoming (37th for chlamydia, 50th for gonorrhea, 46th for syphilis)
6. Montana (35th for chlamydia, 48th for gonorrhea, 50th for syphilis)
7. Idaho (45th for chlamydia, 49th for gonorrhea, 38th for syphilis)
8. New Hampshire (50th for chlamydia, 47th for gonorrhea, 30th for syphilis)
9. Nebraska (38th for chlamydia, 32nd for gonorrhea, 48th for syphilis)
10. Minnesota (43rd for chlamydia, 36th for gonorrhea, 34th for syphilis)Worst States for STDs
10. North Carolina (10th for chlamydia, 6th for gonorrhea, 24th for syphilis)
9. New York (11th for chlamydia, 16th for gonorrhea, 7th for syphilis)
8. Texas (13th for chlamydia, 13th for gonorrhea, 6th for syphilis)
7. Illinois (9th for chlamydia, 10th for gonorrhea, 8th for syphilis)
6. Arkansas (7th for chlamydia, 7th for gonorrhea, 9th for syphilis)
5. South Carolina (5th for chlamydia, 4th for gonorrhea, 13th for syphilis)
4. Alabama (3rd for chlamydia, 3rd for gonorrhea, 15th for syphilis)
3. Georgia (8th for chlamydia, 5th for gonorrhea, 1st for syphilis)
2. Mississippi (1st for chlamydia, 1st for gonorrhea, 11th for syphilis)
1. Louisiana (4th for chlamydia, 2nd for gonorrhea, 3rd for syphilis)
Louisiana seems pretty chock full of STDs, but Mississippi really got shorted here. Ranked first for chlamydia AND gonorrhea, they weren’t awarded the number one spot solely because of their lower–but still abysmal–eleventh seed for syphilis. Syphilis sufferers of Mississippi, you’ve really let your state down. If you cared about the pride of the great state of Mississippi, you’d have more sex. Who do you think you are, me?
[via Fox News]
So what we learn from this is you can’t get STD’s from having sex with your sister, and Louisiana/Alabama rank exactly where everyone thought they would.
11 years ago at 11:50 amSEC! SEC! SEC!
11 years ago at 11:51 amIt’s all in that shit hole West Point Mississippi
11 years ago at 11:52 amThank God I go to the number 1 party school in the country, that has the cleanest peaches in the nation WVU
11 years ago at 11:53 amWVU isn’t fun. Don’t even try to say “oh coming from the guy who couldn’t get in” because literally EVERYONE gets in. It’s the East Coast’s safety school.
11 years ago at 12:07 pmyou don’t even lift bro
11 years ago at 12:11 pmWe’re #1 on Playboys list, “the only list that matters”
11 years ago at 12:29 pmTry a little less, guy.
11 years ago at 2:04 pmWest Virginia #1?! Really?
11 years ago at 11:54 amIts really not that hard to believe. Although possible, it is rare to contract one of these diseases from livestock.
11 years ago at 12:15 pmKeeping it in the family….
11 years ago at 12:52 pmThey don’t have the technology required for STD testing in West Virginia, so the data is a bit skewed.
11 years ago at 1:24 pmThe incest and livestock WV jokes are more than played out. The country has to get some new material. Jeez guys, we’re rarely on the right side of these kinds of lists, just let us enjoy this one.
11 years ago at 2:52 pmOr you could just move to a better state
11 years ago at 6:46 pmReally surprised Florida didn’t make the list.
11 years ago at 11:58 amToo many old people
11 years ago at 12:07 pmNot the case: http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2011-05-16/health/os-seniors-stds-national-20110516_1_std-cases-syphilis-and-chlamydia-older-adults
I’m also really surprised Florida isn’t on the list. Just moved to North Carolina. Glad to see we’re representing.
11 years ago at 1:10 pmThey are more known for crabs, especially in Tallahassee.
11 years ago at 1:36 pmOf course West Virginia is #1, no one really gets STD’s from their cousin-mother
11 years ago at 12:01 pmYou could imply that as people have more sex, the more chances they’ll catch an STD, so this is kinda like a “Who gets the most tang” chart.
11 years ago at 12:04 pmGiven that all three STD’s mentioned are curable, the implication points more towards hygiene or a lack there of.
11 years ago at 9:28 pmGeaux get tested
11 years ago at 12:10 pmI would like to proudly accept the award for syphilis domination on behalf of Governor Nathan Deal and the entire state of Georgia. It’s been a long road filled with lots of hard work and even more fucking, but we did it. Thanks again, and Go Dawgs.
11 years ago at 12:12 pm