The Champ on Entitlement

You probably think you know where this is going. You’re wrong. No this isn’t about Occupy Wall Street or destroying liberal agendas or any of that crap. This is a real issue that bugs me and has ever since I graduated.

There are a lot of kids who scrap and claw their way through college. I wasn’t one of them…well let me backtrack.

My father owns a very successful small business and the time came while I was a freshman to decide whether or not to follow in his footsteps and begin grooming myself to take over what was a booming business in the ever-profitable medical field. When I was a junior my dad’s company lost their primary provider contract. His company was in a bad way so he drained my college fund to keep his company alive and his 50+ employees employed. I’m reminded of the battle my family and I went through every time I get my monthly love letter from JP Morgan-Chase student loans. Fortunately dad prevailed, and his business is stronger than ever because he fought for his dream. I on the other hand, decided to pursue other options and let dad take care of his business that he built.

I digress. There’s a few of you out there who think you can put “I was in a frat” on your resume and get the corner office job a month after you graduate. This is where I stop you and say, you’re out of your fucking mind.

I hear a lot of bitching about the so-called “entitlement generation”. For every complaint about Obama (don’t get me wrong, I don’t like him anymore than you do), I see some kid boasting about the “sick” job at PricewaterhouseCoopers dear old dad is going to hook you up with post-grad.

Here’s a bit of news for you, dad’s going to send an email to his buddy John which is immediately going into John’s “annoying kids looking for jobs” email folder and you’re fucked, staring at a $30k/year plus dental mailroom job at the local brokerage firm. But there’s no shame in that. Work your way up the ladder.

The point I’m trying to make is that you have to earn your way. You’re starting at the bottom whether you like it or not. You think you’re a badass? Well the guy who’s been working at that office for twenty years doesn’t. He thinks you’re an asshole who needs to shut the fuck up. But don’t fret, you’ve been there before. You weren’t the shit as a freshman in high school. You certainly weren’t the shit when you were a pledge. And you won’t be the shit now. No one is going to give you anything. The American Dream isn’t being born into money. The American Dream is building yourself up as a man of prominence. But that’s the beauty of having been in a fraternity. You’ve already learned how to pull yourself up from complete and utter shit before. Guess what? If you keep the same mentality you had then, you’ll do it again, I’m sure of it. And hey, if you happen to have been born into greater opportunity than the rest of the population, then congratulations, you’ve got a leg up on the competition.

What people do with themselves after they leave their marks on Greek Town is where the men are separated from the boys. You’re about to be shit on. America’s job market is in the toilet because this country no longer sees fit to have people actually fend for themselves. It’s an ass backwards environment where some people keep looking for handouts and “sick” job hookups from dad. Once you’ve got the diploma in your hand, you’re on an even playing field with 99% of everyone else with a bachelor’s degree.

And ladies, for fuck’s sake, stop it with the “I can’t wait to be a housewife” routine. You don’t see me saying, “Gee golly, I can’t wait to marry a gal with zero drive or ambition.” Serious boner kryptonite. But if that’s the path you see fit, go right ahead. I’ll be building my empire while on the lookout for the oil tycoon’s daughter who landed the Philip Morris job without daddy’s help and you’ll probably be divorced at 40. I have nothing against a woman who stays at home to raise her children and take care of the house, but guess what? You don’t have a husband, a house, or kids yet. So until you do maybe try to accomplish something and contribute to society.

Once you’re out of the frat bubble, there are tons of other kids (including tons of other Greek kids) just like you competing for every job out there. Distinguish yourself from the pack and be your own man. If dad wants to help you out along the way then that’s fantastic. Just don‘t expect for all of your hopes and dreams of fortune be dropped in your lap because your uncle‘s pledge dad‘s niece‘s best friend‘s grandpa is T. Boone Pickens.

Build your own house. Be driven. That’s what being a fraternity man and an American is all about.

Follow me on Twitter: @ChampsTourTFM

  1. gordonbombay

    This is the best column on the website. I can’t even begin with the amount of people I know who need to hear this

    13 years ago at 12:11 pm
    1. Danny Devitbro

      ^^ Well the coaching youth hockey will look good on your resume. You better just hope law firms don’t do a background check. That DUI will hurt your chances.

      13 years ago at 1:02 pm
  2. Nicholas Frattington

    Best column I’ve ever read. Good to know I’m not the only one who isn’t rich as fuck.

    13 years ago at 12:17 pm
    1. Sailing

      ^^If you aren’t rich then of course you are in the same boat. You wouldn’t be able to afford your own.

      13 years ago at 4:21 pm
  3. J Fratpont Morgan

    Step your game up, Dorn and Bacon. This is the best column I’ve read in ages.

    13 years ago at 12:37 pm
  4. Forever Frat

    This column needed to be posted. This is a joke site, but too many take it seriously.

    13 years ago at 12:39 pm
    1. 2ndAmmendmentBRO

      ^ and six figures, a new yacht, 3 new pairs of sperrys (per quarter), and a 2013 “Frat”hoe. Yes we know we’ve heard it all before.

      13 years ago at 3:32 pm
    2. fratharderandoftener

      Actually having a six figure job waiting and only working half the year. Thank you obama and your green revolution. Seems some dumbass ivy league educated liberals forgot about the actual supply and demand of oil.

      13 years ago at 8:13 pm