The Champ on Entitlement

You probably think you know where this is going. You’re wrong. No this isn’t about Occupy Wall Street or destroying liberal agendas or any of that crap. This is a real issue that bugs me and has ever since I graduated.

There are a lot of kids who scrap and claw their way through college. I wasn’t one of them…well let me backtrack.

My father owns a very successful small business and the time came while I was a freshman to decide whether or not to follow in his footsteps and begin grooming myself to take over what was a booming business in the ever-profitable medical field. When I was a junior my dad’s company lost their primary provider contract. His company was in a bad way so he drained my college fund to keep his company alive and his 50+ employees employed. I’m reminded of the battle my family and I went through every time I get my monthly love letter from JP Morgan-Chase student loans. Fortunately dad prevailed, and his business is stronger than ever because he fought for his dream. I on the other hand, decided to pursue other options and let dad take care of his business that he built.

I digress. There’s a few of you out there who think you can put “I was in a frat” on your resume and get the corner office job a month after you graduate. This is where I stop you and say, you’re out of your fucking mind.

I hear a lot of bitching about the so-called “entitlement generation”. For every complaint about Obama (don’t get me wrong, I don’t like him anymore than you do), I see some kid boasting about the “sick” job at PricewaterhouseCoopers dear old dad is going to hook you up with post-grad.

Here’s a bit of news for you, dad’s going to send an email to his buddy John which is immediately going into John’s “annoying kids looking for jobs” email folder and you’re fucked, staring at a $30k/year plus dental mailroom job at the local brokerage firm. But there’s no shame in that. Work your way up the ladder.

The point I’m trying to make is that you have to earn your way. You’re starting at the bottom whether you like it or not. You think you’re a badass? Well the guy who’s been working at that office for twenty years doesn’t. He thinks you’re an asshole who needs to shut the fuck up. But don’t fret, you’ve been there before. You weren’t the shit as a freshman in high school. You certainly weren’t the shit when you were a pledge. And you won’t be the shit now. No one is going to give you anything. The American Dream isn’t being born into money. The American Dream is building yourself up as a man of prominence. But that’s the beauty of having been in a fraternity. You’ve already learned how to pull yourself up from complete and utter shit before. Guess what? If you keep the same mentality you had then, you’ll do it again, I’m sure of it. And hey, if you happen to have been born into greater opportunity than the rest of the population, then congratulations, you’ve got a leg up on the competition.

What people do with themselves after they leave their marks on Greek Town is where the men are separated from the boys. You’re about to be shit on. America’s job market is in the toilet because this country no longer sees fit to have people actually fend for themselves. It’s an ass backwards environment where some people keep looking for handouts and “sick” job hookups from dad. Once you’ve got the diploma in your hand, you’re on an even playing field with 99% of everyone else with a bachelor’s degree.

And ladies, for fuck’s sake, stop it with the “I can’t wait to be a housewife” routine. You don’t see me saying, “Gee golly, I can’t wait to marry a gal with zero drive or ambition.” Serious boner kryptonite. But if that’s the path you see fit, go right ahead. I’ll be building my empire while on the lookout for the oil tycoon’s daughter who landed the Philip Morris job without daddy’s help and you’ll probably be divorced at 40. I have nothing against a woman who stays at home to raise her children and take care of the house, but guess what? You don’t have a husband, a house, or kids yet. So until you do maybe try to accomplish something and contribute to society.

Once you’re out of the frat bubble, there are tons of other kids (including tons of other Greek kids) just like you competing for every job out there. Distinguish yourself from the pack and be your own man. If dad wants to help you out along the way then that’s fantastic. Just don‘t expect for all of your hopes and dreams of fortune be dropped in your lap because your uncle‘s pledge dad‘s niece‘s best friend‘s grandpa is T. Boone Pickens.

Build your own house. Be driven. That’s what being a fraternity man and an American is all about.

Follow me on Twitter: @ChampsTourTFM

  1. FratMee

    Good to know there’s more people like me. Instead of assholes trying to one up each other on everything that is TFM.

    13 years ago at 12:42 pm
    1. Frat Blue Ribbon

      I am please to be enlightened of the presence of individuals who resemble and embody a socioeconomic status similar to my own. There are too many jerk-off, slack-jawed, yellow-bellied, limp-handshake-havin’ motherfuckers trying to trump each other on everything that encompasses the essence of being a fraternity brother. Bitch.

      13 years ago at 7:02 pm
  2. Mr Burgundy

    Couldnt agree more with this splendid article. I didn’t come right out of high school and was handed the leading position of the great channel 4 action news team. Now that she devil Corningstone….. Always whining about her stories and feeling entitled to better ones. Makes me sick!

    13 years ago at 12:50 pm
  3. titsorGTFO

    I disagree with about half of this column. If your dad is a partner in PWC, odds are you’ll be able to get a job there unless you’re a fuck up. Same goes with the other parts of this saying that who you know doesn’t help. If you do have connections in the field you want a job in you should use those connections as leverage or you are a dumb ass.

    13 years ago at 12:53 pm
    1. Rob Fox

      The article isn’t saying that connections don’t help, what it’s saying is that just because you know somebody (generally) doesn’t mean you’re going to be dropped right into some crazy badass job. Chances are you’re still going to have to earn your way up. In fact if the company DOESN’T require you to do so and puts important things in the hands of a 22/23 year old then either that kid is a prodigy or that company sucks ass.

      13 years ago at 1:06 pm
    2. Denzel FRATington

      You are a fucking idiot. More than half of my law school’s graduates land BigLaw jobs before graduation. The rest do whatever they want (federal government, etc). Must suck to go to a Tier 3 school. Your post applies to shit law schools– you should have clarified.

      13 years ago at 4:47 pm
    3. Jerry Fratdusky

      Tits and Denzel, shhhhhhh. If you’re about to be hired for a respectable firm or company (especially if it’s a public company) then there is a 100% chance that there are guys already there on top of their game and years ahead of you. And those guys will make sure you’re gone if you’re a little bitch.

      If your daddy is the CEO or president and he puts you in a position of significance with great pay, shareholders or a board will get rid of him quick if you suck. You’re all re-pledging again no matter how badass you think you are or who your connections are. Your “connections” will be hazing you for the first year of your job. Capitalism and meritocracy are all about paying your dues.

      Now if your daddy owns a private little company or firm, yeah you’ll get a position given to you, and there’s a 95% chance you’ll run that company into the ground.

      As for your little law school comment Denzel, at least 50% of grads from top 25 law school are unemployed for at least a year after graduating. And most of them have to take HR jobs or other jobs that barely support their loans.

      I touch boys.

      13 years ago at 6:33 pm
    4. the fratness monster

      ^ Had a brother join the best entertainment and sports management firm out in LA (I know west coast NF) out of law school. The firm represents Brad Pitt and many other celebrities as agents. Anyway, he started out in the mail room. You have to work your way up and re-pledge.

      13 years ago at 6:54 pm
  4. Jon M Fratsman

    This is damn good. And it really needed to be said here. I hope some of the “TFM detractors” read this column and realize that while we love to fuck around on a comedic Internet site, when it comes down to it, this is what being a fraternity man is about.

    13 years ago at 1:27 pm
    1. grandfrat

      Dude, the real question is, when is Jon M Fratsman going to write the next column? That would be one far greater than most the other trash that’s been on here lately.

      13 years ago at 11:34 pm
    2. Geordi La Frat

      ^ Nah, the real question is when is Fratsman going to realize that he pledged Sigma Chi and therefore really isn’t in a fraternity?

      13 years ago at 11:47 pm
    3. Jon M Fratsman

      ^ I’ve been seriously considering making a video of one of the pledges doing ya’lls little Phi Alpha hand gesture, you know, drawing out the brightness from that little noggin of yours, except with a sweet bird flip at the end, the way we salute SAEs at my school. Just for you.

      13 years ago at 12:55 am
  5. TechBRO

    So very true… unfortunately half of the fucks in my fraternity, or in any fraternity for that purpose will write this off as “that won’t be me, I can totes get a 6-fig job with daddy’s uncle’s cousin’s help”.

    13 years ago at 1:28 pm