The College Football Playoff National Championship Game Live Blog

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Live from the TFM Writer House in Austin, Texas

11:22 pm: I can’t understand a word Jake Coker says.

11:17 pm: Lol jk that’s the game goodnight folks.

11:16 pm: This has potential to be an all-timer.

11:15 pm: IT AIN’T OVER ‘TIL IT’S OVER!!!!!!

11:09 pm: Henry’s in. Perfect setup for the greatest ending in football game history.

11:05 pm: Sources tell me Coker popped a pimple during that dive.

11:01 pm: O.J. Howard? More like OMG Howard! I’ll see myself out.

10:58 pm: A Coker pick six by Renfrow with Clemson’s kicker pancake blocking Henry is all I want in the world.

10:56 pm: 5 point lead, worst lead in college football, as they say.

10:55 pm: Go for 2, get two. We need this.

10:54 pm: I will not be content with anything less than a Renfrow touchdown.

10:52 pm: GIVE US THE CRAZY ENDING THAT WE WANT NEED!!!

10:50 pm: No we will not. What a waste of a good Drake reference.

10:49 pm: Will we get “Back 2 Back” returns for touchdowns?

10:47 pm: “Cry about it. Cry about it, Clemson fans.” -Boosh’s South Carolina Gamecocks allegiance is shining through.

10:46 pm: I DON’T UNDERSTAND LIFE ANY MORE.

10:43 pm: I overcooked my pizza rolls in all this confusion. Morale is low. Excitement is high. Bama up 4 with 7:47 to go.

10:35 pm: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

10:33 pm: Okay, maybe Griffith is confident…

10:30 pm: Griffith doesn’t look confident. I think Bama’s gonna miss a game-winning field goal, then lose in OT. You heard it here first, folks.

10:27 pm: I can’t believe that duck from Coker was caught.

10:20 pm: This is gonna be a good ending. Making pizza rolls to celebrate the future good times.

10:11 pm: Punting is an art, and Teasdall is an artist.

10:09 pm: Wait, is Renfrow a freshman walk-on? And, if so, why aren’t they bringing it up every 10 seconds?

10:06 pm: Mullaney ruins the great white receiver vibes we were rockin’. For shame.

10:04 pm: The longer the game goes on, the worse Coker’s acne looks on camera. Can’t wait until we see him on Proactiv commercials in a few years.

10:00 pm: Tigers take the lead! Aaaaaaaand they just celebrated by doing the plug. God dammit.

9:55 pm: Watson’s got Saban tossing around his headphones.

9:40 pm: Thank God that pass was defensed, I don’t think I can handle a non-Renfrow tuddy.

9:39 pm: Renfrow should say “screw NCAA rules” and declare for the draft as a rising sophomore.

9:33 pm: Congrats, everybody who took longest play over 50.5 yards!

9:31 pm: Kenyan Drake? I thought he was from Canada!

9:28 pm: We back. Love the fake reverse. Even when it works, it doesn’t work.

9:06 pm: Tie game at the half. Helluva game thus far.

9:03 pm: This has been a bad past couple days for kickers.

8:58 pm: That guy just ran at least 50 yards in the backfield.

8:57 pm: Jake Coker is spending more time on the ground than John Madden’s private jet.

8:54 pm: Additionally, you’re scared, Clemson fans. But we already knew that.

8:52 pm: You’re scared, Bama fans. Admit it.

8:47 pm: With Coker at QB, how you don’t just stack the box all game is beyond us.

8:45 pm: Hmmm…

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Dan: 42-35 Clemson

Jared: 35-28 Clemson

Boosh: 35-28 Bama

8:40 pm: Important question here from TFM user “AndrewsMomsAss”

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Not dignifying that with a response.

8:33 pm: This game is actually good. Thank you, college football gods.

8:20 pm: Ask us questions in the comments section.

8:18 pm: I haven’t seen this many white wide receivers since the 5th round of my fantasy football draft.

8:15 pm: I instinctively call all white football players “slot receivers” regardless of what position they actually play.

8:13 pm: WHITE GUY TOUCHDOWN ALERT, ROUND 2!

8:09 pm: I hope the laces weren’t in on that kick or we won’t hear the end of it.

8:07 pm: Was that Clemson’s kicker with the sack? I wouldn’t be surprised.

8:04 pm: Clemson’s kicker/punter tandem is on pace for one zillion tackles tonight.

8:02 pm: Clemson has already gotten past the 50-yard line, so this natty is already on pace to blow the 2012 one out of the water.

8:01 pm: I don’t want my own personal pylon cam, I need it.

8:00 pm: WHITE GUY TOUCHDOWN ALERT!

7:56 pm: How do you get tackled by a kicker??? That’s like tripping on an ant.

7:53 pm: Not sure how you don’t tackle Henry by his hair there. He’s asking for it.

7:51 pm: I was typing in “Over/under on how many years Derrick Henry lasts in the NFL – 3” right when he busted through the line. Gonna raise that number to 4.

7:46 pm: Corso picked Clemson, but he’s so senile that I don’t know what to believe anymore.

7:39 pm: Did Lane Kiffin bang enough boosters’ wives to ensure success in this game? Both of these questions remain unanswered.

7:34 pm: Will Jake Coker complete more passes than the number of pimples on his face?

7:31 pm: Tails it is.

7:30 pm: “Tails never fails” – Dan

7:27 pm: Dan thinks Ciara looks sexually pent up. I’m forced to agree.

7:25 pm: Welcome to the live blog. Jared Borislow, Dan Regester and Alex “Boosh” Buscemi here. It’s sure to be a great night full of bandwagon Bama fans and that awful dab celebration. Follow along.

  1. AndrewsMomsAss

    Why do they call them “wide receivers” when they are the thinnest people on the field?

    9 years ago at 8:25 pm
  2. FuckTuco69

    *turns game on*
    *clampzin getting schlonged*
    Looks about right *moves on in life grateful af*

    9 years ago at 8:29 pm
  3. Bogey Wells

    Which is hotter right now: the Renfrow/Watson connection or Boosh’s Fireball-filled stomach?

    9 years ago at 8:47 pm
  4. AndrewsMomsAss

    If you’re just tuning in at halftime, don’t worry. The score is still tied, so you haven’t missed anything.

    9 years ago at 9:09 pm
  5. John F.ucking Kennedy

    What color will the Gatorade be that is poured on the winning coach?

    9 years ago at 9:10 pm