HOLY SHIT THAT WAS BAD. Please, guys, you need to let me know if you’re going to do something like this so you can have me produce it. I’ll tighten it up for you. It’s not that the talent isn’t there, this was just misguided. Anyhow, you know how to reach me. (I’ll do it all for a creative consultant credit, or a co-producer if you’re so inclined.)
The opinions are opinions, the offer is a fact. I don’t want to seem unsupportive, I have been quite a fan of your work. I just wouldn’t want to see it discredited. On that note, my offer stands. The writing would have been clever on its own, say, in a column, but screenwriting is different. While it relies on the acting and direction to speak for it, in this case, those resources weren’t on the same page. The shots got way too repetitive, and the conversation really dragged out. For this audience, especially, you have to engage them during dialogue. Had the dialogue been more conducive to cuts that weren’t just to a 2 shot, and then close ups of the girls, it could have been less disorienting. The 180-degree rule made this sequence of shots particularly disorienting, and when you add the girls visible heads in the 1 shot of the Douche character, it was compositionally distracting and loose. The music and volume was unfit for the piece. The sound mixing suffered as a result, especially paired with dialogue. The girls could use some acting lessons, but the editing didn’t do them any favors. The cuts seemed haphazard, and, while they were effective as they stood, this could have easily been tightened. (Though what’s the difference between a C- and a C+, really.) Anyhow, I don’t want to bore you with all my thoughts. However, you can have this bit of writing entirely free: He should have taken a slice of pizza on the way out.
^Another super easy fix before I go, though this entirely stylistic; up the lows and the mids and lower the highs a little bit, I’d shoot for more blues and less reds to smooth it out a little. And a little more contrast wouldn’t hurt either. The facial lighting kept throwing odd parts of their faces in and out as well, particularly the noses. I’d smooth this out too, maybe softer light, but like I said, I’m not a professional.
Well-taken points, Chilis. Though there are concessions that have to be made for certain takes or circumstances on-set, that I may make an argument of- I appreciate your thought-out response. Truthfully. Fair enough.
Thanks, I appreciate being appreciated. It’s all fun and games to trash someones work because you don’t like it, but don’t ever give criticism a minute of your time if it doesn’t seem intelligent. I’m an aspiring so-and-so myself so it’s important not to let everyone with two minutes and an opinion influence your work. Most of my criticism was stylistic, but the community certainly wasn’t happy, so I only spoke in effort to put some substance to the belligerence.
Holy fuck Atomic I was really hoping you killed yourself or at least went to Starbucks with your liberal arts degree, please stop trying and Dorn I swear to God if you let Atomic have any part in the TFM movie you will not be my favorite anymore.
Shell kell and Katie just need to stop. These bitches failed with the kappa rap and again with the kappa rap 2. Now this shit? I hope they didn’t get any money for this.
Everyone on this site is now dumber for having watched this
12 years ago at 11:20 pmTFM is making its own Fail Friday videos?
12 years ago at 11:23 pmHOLY SHIT THAT WAS BAD. Please, guys, you need to let me know if you’re going to do something like this so you can have me produce it. I’ll tighten it up for you. It’s not that the talent isn’t there, this was just misguided. Anyhow, you know how to reach me. (I’ll do it all for a creative consultant credit, or a co-producer if you’re so inclined.)
12 years ago at 11:43 pmIs that a fact, Chilis?
12 years ago at 11:47 pmThe opinions are opinions, the offer is a fact. I don’t want to seem unsupportive, I have been quite a fan of your work. I just wouldn’t want to see it discredited. On that note, my offer stands. The writing would have been clever on its own, say, in a column, but screenwriting is different. While it relies on the acting and direction to speak for it, in this case, those resources weren’t on the same page. The shots got way too repetitive, and the conversation really dragged out. For this audience, especially, you have to engage them during dialogue. Had the dialogue been more conducive to cuts that weren’t just to a 2 shot, and then close ups of the girls, it could have been less disorienting. The 180-degree rule made this sequence of shots particularly disorienting, and when you add the girls visible heads in the 1 shot of the Douche character, it was compositionally distracting and loose. The music and volume was unfit for the piece. The sound mixing suffered as a result, especially paired with dialogue. The girls could use some acting lessons, but the editing didn’t do them any favors. The cuts seemed haphazard, and, while they were effective as they stood, this could have easily been tightened. (Though what’s the difference between a C- and a C+, really.) Anyhow, I don’t want to bore you with all my thoughts. However, you can have this bit of writing entirely free: He should have taken a slice of pizza on the way out.
12 years ago at 12:03 am^Another super easy fix before I go, though this entirely stylistic; up the lows and the mids and lower the highs a little bit, I’d shoot for more blues and less reds to smooth it out a little. And a little more contrast wouldn’t hurt either. The facial lighting kept throwing odd parts of their faces in and out as well, particularly the noses. I’d smooth this out too, maybe softer light, but like I said, I’m not a professional.
12 years ago at 12:12 amWell-taken points, Chilis. Though there are concessions that have to be made for certain takes or circumstances on-set, that I may make an argument of- I appreciate your thought-out response. Truthfully. Fair enough.
12 years ago at 12:49 amThanks, I appreciate being appreciated. It’s all fun and games to trash someones work because you don’t like it, but don’t ever give criticism a minute of your time if it doesn’t seem intelligent. I’m an aspiring so-and-so myself so it’s important not to let everyone with two minutes and an opinion influence your work. Most of my criticism was stylistic, but the community certainly wasn’t happy, so I only spoke in effort to put some substance to the belligerence.
12 years ago at 1:17 amChili’s…a genius… who knew?
12 years ago at 1:23 pmThank God I read the comments before I watched it. Seems like y’all just saved me a couple minutes and a few brain cells.
12 years ago at 11:46 pmHoly fuck Atomic I was really hoping you killed yourself or at least went to Starbucks with your liberal arts degree, please stop trying and Dorn I swear to God if you let Atomic have any part in the TFM movie you will not be my favorite anymore.
12 years ago at 11:48 pmThanks, Pee! Hope you’re doing well, yourself!
12 years ago at 1:05 am^ Torched, fucken torched him.
12 years ago at 8:58 pmTits or GTFO
12 years ago at 8:21 amThat’s wasn’t funny
12 years ago at 9:45 amI wanted this to be good. I really did.
12 years ago at 1:24 pmShell kell and Katie just need to stop. These bitches failed with the kappa rap and again with the kappa rap 2. Now this shit? I hope they didn’t get any money for this.
12 years ago at 3:00 pmOnly redeeming factor was the chick. If the movie is like this it’d better have at least 50 minutes of tits.
12 years ago at 5:06 pm