The Fallout Between Jay-Z And Kanye Is Causing Me More Heartbreak Than All My Breakups Combined

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I’m so heartbroken. I feel like I’ll never feel love again. I already found the perfect love but it’s gone now. It’s all I can think about. I can’t listen to the radio because every song brings back memories of what used to be. I keep on reminiscing on the relationship and wishing everything was still the same.

No, I’m not going through a breakup. Ye and Hov are beefing, which is even worse.

I’ve gone through plenty of splits, and they ain’t fun, but the public fallout between Jay-Z and Kanye West has been infinitely more heartbreaking than all my breakups combined. My two favorite musicians, who were best friends, are now mortal enemies. Will life ever be the same? The world may never know.

Let me explain the scenario for everyone that’s saving money on rent by living under a rock. Jay Z and Kanye used to be best buddies. Jay played a big role in Kanye getting his big break, playing an older brother/ mentor role to him. It blossomed to a seemingly unbreakable friendship that moved mountains. They made “Watch The Throne” together, they killed Osama Bin Laden together, they even cured polio together. They were an unstoppable team and they inspired America one fire beat at a time.

But those days are just distant memories. All the ballin in Paris, cray Christmases, and matching striped sweaters are just dust in the wind. Life is full of rejection and disappointment, but I’ve never felt anything quite like this.

Last year, during a public mental meltdown and downward spiral, Kanye was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. But beforehand, his depression pushed him into sabotaging his tour. One night on stage he did an infamous rant where he shit on Jay Z. We watched in shock.

Then recently on Jay’s new album “4:44,” he bashed Kanye in the opening track. Basically, the divorce was finalized.
My friends keep telling me that there’s other fish in the sea. That I should go out and try to meet other rappers. That they know other rappers they could set me up with. One of my friends even recommended signing up for OkRapper, a free website where you can meet rappers. But I can’t get myself to do it.

Breakups are rough but they’re a piece of cake compared to this. Think about it. Did me and my ex ever record “Otis?” Don’t think so. Did I produce beats for “The Blueprint” while my ex rapped over them? I’m afraid not. Me and my ex balled hard. But we didn’t ball so hard that motherfuckers wanna fine us (first though they gotta find us.)

My only choice is to get them back together. Maybe blare a boombox with a love song outside their windows. Maybe I’ll propose to them in front of a cheering crowd. Maybe I could rush through an airport and stop one of them before they fly out of the country to study abroad for the summer.

They’re the one that got away. I thought we’d all be together forever.

Image via Shutterstock

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  1. Henry_Eighth

    *Did my ex and I ever record “Otis?”* I hope your middle school English teacher kills you in your sleep.

    8 years ago at 11:46 am
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        8 years ago at 9:35 pm
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  2. Rebuttals

    Good lord, Not going to CU Boulder was the worst decision of my life. So much talent

    8 years ago at 12:57 pm
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