The Fight

Screen Shot 2017-01-18 at 3.03.32 PM

Things were quieting down at the Alpha house, and only about 20 people were still partying down in its basement. That would happen during summer nights like this, as many people were out at their internships or visiting families back home. Andrew, Carter and Skyler were out on the front porch having a smoke break, all of them disappointed at the slow night.

“Well this fucking blows,” said Andrew. “It’s not even midnight! What the hell are we supposed to do now?” He didn’t face his brothers when he said this, and it was as though he was posing the question to the night sky itself. After a long pause, Skyler’s face lit up with the twisted grin of a mad scientist about to defy God and nature. “I’ve got it,” he said. He spent the next few minutes explaining his plan to Andrew and Carter, who reluctantly agreed to carry it out with him. His plan was to Powerbox the nearby Beta house. That is, to shut down their outdoor fuse box.

“Just look at their house. Those pussies have all gone to bed!” he said. “They think they can just have a quiet and relaxing night on this Greek Row? The fucking gall they must have. We need to teach them a lesson.” After discussing the details of their mission, the boys quietly snuck over to Beta’s lawn, then slowly approached the east wall of the house. Skyler crept over to the fuse box, but then a light came on within the house.

“Who’s there?” asked a voice from inside. “Hey, what the fuck- guys, intruder!!” Their cover was blown, and Andrew and Carter were frozen for a moment, not sure of how to react. Skyler took one look over at his brothers, then roundhouse kicked the fuse box with surprising strength. The lights in the Beta house went off, and the boys started running. They were about halfway back to the Alpha house when a rock connected with Skyler’s head, sending him crumpling to the street.

Andrew and Carter turned around to see that five Betas were giving chase, then looked at each other and decided to stand their ground. Andrew rushed one of the Betas, decking him right below his left eye and sending him reeling toward the ground. He pulled back to hit another one, but a punch to his ribs knocked the wind out of him. He was in danger of being overrun when Carter jumped on one of the Betas, letting out a battle cry. The Beta pushed Carter off of him and grabbed his head, slamming it to the ground. Carter tried to fight back, but blood covered his face and obscured his vision.

Two Betas were now staring Andrew down with smirks on their faces. He lunged at one, dodging his initial swing, but took a left hook to the chin from the other. He shrugged it off and tried to reposition himself, but took another hit to the same spot that was still stinging from the last hit. He was completely outmatched, and was prepared to jump up and try to make a break for it. Just as he was freeing himself from a headlock, blue lights began flashing and blinded all of the combatants.

All but one of the Betas bolted into the night, with Carter and Skyler splitting off in the other direction. When the police officers arrived, they found two fraternity men who were bruised and bloodied from a vicious altercation. One of the officers looked at each of the boys and asked, “Is there some sort of problem here tonight, gentlemen?” The guys looked at each other for a minute, then Andrew responded. “No, sir, just having some fun,” he said. The officer nodded, then said, “Well, carry on. Be safe out there.” He and his colleague then walked back to their car and drove off into the night.

Once the police were gone, Andrew looked over at the Beta, who he recognized as Randy from his financial management class. Randy had taken the brunt of Andrew and Carter’s attacks, and was still partially in a daze. Andrew motioned over to the Alpha house and said, “Come on, man. I’ve got a cold one for you in there.” Randy nodded, and Andrew helped him up off the ground and into the house.

Image via Shutterstock

  1. Shirtless_Bandit

    This was nowhere near as good as the GDwtS series. I can only assume your writing prowess was absorbed from your proximity to Bacon via some type of literary Osmosis.

    8 years ago at 3:17 pm
  2. Brooks brothers bow tie

    Have you ever read something but spaced out while reading it so after you finished reading it you were like “what was that about again?” That just happened to me.

    8 years ago at 11:23 pm
  3. TheKingOfEverything

    I feel the need to say this (and this comment will probably get deleted by the staff), I had been a long time daily TFM reader for years until recently I started transitioning to being more of a Barstool guy. I hardly ever check TFM anymore as I’ve pretty much given up hope (side note: the Bacon firing is new news to me, what the fuck?). TFM had potential to be the type of site that Barstool is, and while the Barstool guys are going on comedy central during the super bowl, TFM is laying off almost every single writer and desperately pushing out ads disguised as articles in an attempt to bring in some kind of revenue. TFM should’ve stuck with what worked. It could’ve been a fucking hilarious site where guys could lightheartedly talk about horribly offensive topics and shit talk about each other in the forums. The writers could’ve focused on appealing to frat guys instead of frat guys little brothers, sisters and moms with the buzzfeed type bullshit that makes up most of the content now. TFM isn’t cool anymore for anyone in an actual fraternity, and while the click bait titles might get page views for now, its not a long term solution. You guys caved to pussy ass advertisers and went PC right when PC was going out of style. I hope everyone (2-3 people?) who still works at TFM has a backup plan because TFM is dead. Disappointing to see what’s happened to what was once a great site.

    8 years ago at 11:57 pm
  4. HazingPolice

    The time my fraternity ends up on TFM, it’s a fight. “Out on the front porch having a smoke break, all of them disappointed at the slow night.” Sounds just like my charge. Hah.

    8 years ago at 12:44 pm