The Flip Butt Sensation Is Sweeping The Nation

Jared Borislow9 years ago

Flip cup had a good run; it really did. But there comes a time when even the most storied of traditional techniques must adapt to the changing times. Take beer opening, for instance. It used to be completely fine to put your fingernails under the pop tab and lift up to access the nectar sealed within the aluminum equivalent of a gift-wrapped present. But then you had innovators come along and give us these glorious takes on removing beer from the can…

… and nothing was ever the same again.

Now, it’s time to take flip cup into the 21st century and beyond. Gone are the days of boring old finger flips — they show little to no booty, and are just very… blah. They’re like “tits out for the boys” and “heyyy we want some puss-ay” chants — fun to do, but there is effectively a zero percent chance that anything of note comes from them. You’ll enjoy them in the moment as you do them with your friends, but, when you think about it, what exactly are you working towards? How are they going to get you from where you are to where you want to be? The answer is “they won’t,” and that’s why we don’t just want flip butt butt flips, we need them.

And, luckily, we have them.

I really want to know what’s next for flip butt, because this is not the end — not even close. This is merely flip cup’s first update, and there are sure to be future incarnations that will leave us with our jaws on the floor. What do we hope the next upgrade might be, though?

Somebody make it happen.

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