The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

Where are you From?

Do you really care where this girl spent her formative years giving handies behind the bleachers? Of course not, but this is one of those go-to questions that at least makes it seem like you’re interested in something other than her glorious rack.

So you let her babble on about how much she loves the beach (“No way! You’re the only girl I’ve ever heard who likes it!) and her favorite shitty Mexican restaurant back home.

You’re on the verge of tears from the sheer boredom, when you remember the Tennessee Honey handle sitting in your cooler. You tried to talk to her, a valiant effort, but now it’s clearly time to…

(Click to continue)

START POUNDING DRINKS

  1. The_Chilis_Guy

    Way too fucking lazy to do this. Repost this during exam season when I have to do an all nighter on adderall.

    13 years ago at 2:17 pm
  2. TrickleDown

    I won formal. Now that I have established my credibility, allow me to note that on an unrelated issue, Jeans are FaF. I’m sick of hearing this Jeans are NF shit. During the Cold War, Jeans were a symbol of Western decadence. The fucking Russians protested cause they wanted fucking blue jeans! It is representative of America’s dominance.

    13 years ago at 2:19 pm
    1. Brobert F Kennedy

      Yeah I’m calling BS on it. You do everything right and she winds up half dead in a toilet. Is the moral of the story to always settle for the less hot slut? That’s fucking retarded.

      13 years ago at 9:20 pm
    1. TheCommodore

      T.C. Lutz @TCLutz 13m
      Nothing wrong with a little Donkey Punch now and then, it might hurt her briefly, but it makes things better in the long run. #GentTips #RealTalk

      13 years ago at 4:20 pm
    2. TCLutz

      “Ladies, just because one guy was a jerk to you doesn’t mean all guys are like that. Lose the jerk and find a gent.”

      13 years ago at 4:34 pm
  3. Year Around Frat

    I won formal but didn’t get laid. And shit, I still don’t know what happened to my date. She was a bitch but it’s not like I wanted her to be sold into human trafficking.

    13 years ago at 2:46 pm