The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

Stay Home

Much to the disappointment of yourself, and every one of your brothers, you puss out and stay home. Instead of taking a shot in the dark with one of these blind formal dates, you chose to stay home and ended up catching up on schoolwork.

You have an incredibly productive weekend, because you are literally alone in the fraternity house. No distractions, no beer, no fun whatsoever.

Countless times through the weekend you gaze out the window and think to yourself “Damn, I shouldn’t have been such a little pussy.” Then you masturbate and get back to that paper. You REALLY should have gone to New Orleans, but it’s too late to take that back now.

You won an A+ on that assignment…but you lose Formal… and you suck at life.

RETRY

  1. The_Chilis_Guy

    Way too fucking lazy to do this. Repost this during exam season when I have to do an all nighter on adderall.

    13 years ago at 2:17 pm
  2. TrickleDown

    I won formal. Now that I have established my credibility, allow me to note that on an unrelated issue, Jeans are FaF. I’m sick of hearing this Jeans are NF shit. During the Cold War, Jeans were a symbol of Western decadence. The fucking Russians protested cause they wanted fucking blue jeans! It is representative of America’s dominance.

    13 years ago at 2:19 pm
    1. Brobert F Kennedy

      Yeah I’m calling BS on it. You do everything right and she winds up half dead in a toilet. Is the moral of the story to always settle for the less hot slut? That’s fucking retarded.

      13 years ago at 9:20 pm
    1. TheCommodore

      T.C. Lutz @TCLutz 13m
      Nothing wrong with a little Donkey Punch now and then, it might hurt her briefly, but it makes things better in the long run. #GentTips #RealTalk

      13 years ago at 4:20 pm
    2. TCLutz

      “Ladies, just because one guy was a jerk to you doesn’t mean all guys are like that. Lose the jerk and find a gent.”

      13 years ago at 4:34 pm
  3. Year Around Frat

    I won formal but didn’t get laid. And shit, I still don’t know what happened to my date. She was a bitch but it’s not like I wanted her to be sold into human trafficking.

    13 years ago at 2:46 pm