The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

Rob Fox13 years ago

Dinner

You make your way to Acme Oyster House, clearly too drunk and horny to be considered an acceptable member of society. As you walk into the restaurant, you see a horde of your brothers in the exact same state a manager praying to God that none of you have access to an open flame.

After a brief exchange of high fives and enthusiastic cries of “I FUCKING LOVE NEW ORLEANS!” you sit down for your formal dinner. Before a glass of water can even touch the table a liquid buffet of fine wine mystically appears. Things are starting to look a little better.

You enjoy the delicious meal, and even more delicious wine. Your date’s blackened Redfish is sweet and succulent, and your Crawfish Etoufe tastes like the stuff dreams are made of. You split an order of Bread Pudding, simply because it was advertised as carrying a “whiskey sauce.” The pudding is rich and delicious, and exponentially better than it would have been sans-whiskey.

Full and feeling triumphant, you lean back with a victorious grin. Not even 9pm and you’re full and hammered, now the only thing to do is hightail it to the impending thigh-slappage. The waitress drops the check on your table and the bill is a decent amount more than you expected it to be. Paying it yourself might make supplying both you and your date with booze for the rest of the night a little difficult, but you don’t want to look like a cheap asshole either. You’re faced with yet another decision.

(Click your choice to continue)

PAY FOR DINNER

ASK HER TO SPLIT