The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

Rob Fox13 years ago

Ask Your Date to Split the Check

Real classy, man. Sure, you paid a lot of money to take this girl on formal, but the least you could do is pay the dinner tab you’ve accumulated, even if it is more than you expected it to be. A good rule of formal budgeting is to think of a realistic number and then at least $200 on top of it. You didn’t prepare accordingly, this is your fault.

Your date begrudgingly agrees to split the bill, but only after giving you a long gape-mouthed “Are you fucking kidding me?” stare. You return to Bourbon Street and spend the night drinking enough daiquiris to give a polar bear a brainfreeze.

This would be all well and good, except every time you try to make a move on your date you receive the most frigid of shoulders. She ends up excusing herself back to the hotel as the early morning hours strike, while you elect to take “one more drink” before you meet her back there.

Naturally, that one drink turns into seven, and when you finally manage to figure out the intricacies of your room key on the return trip, you walk into the room for a shock.

There’s your date, at least she hasn’t vanished, but you’re confused to find her inexplicably naked. Even more curious is your pledge brother in the bed, also naked, and shoving your date’s face into his crotch.

Sure you saved enough to pick up a gram of icy white, but everyone knows you can’t have sex with cocaine (but if you could it would feel fucking awesome).

You might have won the thrifty game…but you most definitely lost Formal.

RETRY