The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story
Check Your Room
What an optimist. As you turn down Canal Street, hopeful you’ll find your date but mostly aching for another cold beverage, you arrive at the base of your towering hotel. You share an awkward elevator ride with what is most certainly a transvestite, and take a deep breath as you arrive at your 7th floor room.
Son of a bitch, you found her! Well…you found a shadow of her former self at least. You see your date curled around the base of the toilet wearing nothing but a bra, norts, and one high heeled shoe. She is unconscious at the moment, but you can tell by the flakes of blackened redfish mixed with bile of the floor that she isn’t feeling so hot.
Well…at least you found her I guess? And yeah now that she’s limp you have no reason not to party yourself numb on Bourbon, but those blue balls are going to hurt.
You lost your date…and then you found her…but you still lost Formal.
Is this fucking Cosmo?
13 years ago at 2:05 pmWay too fucking lazy to do this. Repost this during exam season when I have to do an all nighter on adderall.
13 years ago at 2:17 pmI’m entertained. Good Job.
13 years ago at 2:19 pmI won formal. Now that I have established my credibility, allow me to note that on an unrelated issue, Jeans are FaF. I’m sick of hearing this Jeans are NF shit. During the Cold War, Jeans were a symbol of Western decadence. The fucking Russians protested cause they wanted fucking blue jeans! It is representative of America’s dominance.
13 years ago at 2:19 pmThat’s the coolest fucking story I’ve ever heard
13 years ago at 2:34 pmThe story of America is always the coolest story, fuck you
13 years ago at 6:36 pmWrangler. FaF.
13 years ago at 1:45 amReal. Comfortable. Jeans.
13 years ago at 3:21 pmWhat the hell is this ? Pardon the Interruption?
13 years ago at 3:47 pmJeans are only FaF if worn with boots.
13 years ago at 10:18 am🙁
13 years ago at 2:19 pmI’m too drunk for this.
13 years ago at 2:23 pmNo, there’s not enough boys for you for this.
13 years ago at 10:02 pmNot bad, but if Bacon had been writing it would have been gold.
13 years ago at 2:26 pmsuck his dick a little harder
13 years ago at 4:01 pm^You queer?
13 years ago at 1:47 amballrider
13 years ago at 3:07 pmSo I guess it’s impossible to end up fucking the top-tier bitch?
13 years ago at 2:33 pmThis
13 years ago at 6:58 pm^
13 years ago at 9:14 pmYeah I’m calling BS on it. You do everything right and she winds up half dead in a toilet. Is the moral of the story to always settle for the less hot slut? That’s fucking retarded.
13 years ago at 9:20 pmOn second try I had an orgy. So I guess it’s not all bad.
13 years ago at 9:27 pmThis is gayer than TCLutz’s genttips
13 years ago at 2:39 pmFirst time I’ve seen you on TFM, is he on TFM?
13 years ago at 2:41 pmOh hey FritoFrat
13 years ago at 2:43 pmHey!
13 years ago at 2:43 pmJust noticed the name, fuck you
13 years ago at 2:44 pmBe nice you all! Being Nice. RFM.
13 years ago at 3:19 pmT.C. Lutz @TCLutz 13m
13 years ago at 4:20 pmNothing wrong with a little Donkey Punch now and then, it might hurt her briefly, but it makes things better in the long run. #GentTips #RealTalk
“Ladies, just because one guy was a jerk to you doesn’t mean all guys are like that. Lose the jerk and find a gent.”
13 years ago at 4:34 pmI won formal but didn’t get laid. And shit, I still don’t know what happened to my date. She was a bitch but it’s not like I wanted her to be sold into human trafficking.
13 years ago at 2:46 pm