The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

Rob Fox13 years ago

Start Drinking

Fair enough, you skip the small talk and decide to really get to know your date the old fashioned way: with a fifth of hard liquor and some buzzed, flirty conversation. The two of you have a fairly entertaining time on the bus ride to the Big Easy. That 1990’s power hour CD really sets the mood and everyone’s inhibitions have slowly deteriorated like Lindsay Lohan’s septum. Good shit.

As you stumble off the bus and breathe in the not exactly fresh air of Canal Street, you head to your rooms, throw your shit on the floor, and make your way to Bourbon. It’s time to RAGE motherfucker. Since you went soft on the bus ride up, you and your date decide to knock back a few hurricanes at Pat O’Brien’s. After perusing the local hand grenade and “Big Ass Beer” stands, the inevitable happens…listserv text number one.

“Dinner in one hour at *insert generic restaurant from Travel Channel*, be there. It’s called FORMAL for a reason!”

You look at your date, look down at your phone, and then look back at your date. She’s hammered, you are drunker than her and you are debating whether you really want to do this whole “gentleman” thing. Do you…

(Click your choice to continue)

TAKE HER TO DINNER

SAY FUCK IT AND CONTINUE RAGING