The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story

Rob Fox13 years ago

Make a Pass at Your Date

Maybe it’s your uncanny ability to pull ass, maybe it’s the inordinate amount of alcohol you and your date managed to put away, or maybe it’s the fact that you are simply in a better house than hers, one thing is for sure; you are getting the “fuck me” eyes…and you don’t give a shit what is making your date so horny. As the last couple files off the bus, you take one final pull, wipe the whiskey off your lips, look her in the eyes and say “ahhhhhh ummmmm you wannnnnnaaaaa *hiccup* go uhhh somewhere more private?”

Smooth move, Casanova. Fortunately for you, your date also speaks drunken retard, and the two of you make your way to the bus bathroom. After five minutes of fumbling, two spilled drinks, someone trying to break in, and a leg cramp, you have successfully managed to get some action before you even reach your destination. Good job, buddy! You go back to your seat and pass out until arrival in New Orleans.

As you stumble off the bus and breathe in the not exactly fresh air of Canal Street, you head to your rooms, throw your shit on the floor, take a few bumps of Adderall, and make your way to Bourbon. It’s time to RAGE, motherfucker. After perusing the local hand grenade and “Big Ass Beer” stands, the inevitable happens…listserv text number one.

“Dinner in one hour at *insert generic restaurant from Travel Channel*, be there. It’s called FORMAL for a reason!”
You look at your date, look down at your phone, and then look back at your date. She’s hammered, you are drunker than her and you are debating whether you really want to do this whole “gentleman” thing. Do you…

(Click your choice to continue)

TAKE HER TO DINNER

SAY FUCK IT AND CONTINUE RAGING