The Frat “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story
Introduction
You’re not sure how it happened, but your chapter’s New Orleans Formal is just a few days away, and all of your date options have literally blown up in your face. Rebecca has a test on a Monday, Jill has her sorority Mom-Daughter weekend that she can’t skip. Even Sara, your “at-least-I’ll-get-laid” last resort has plans.
It’s a desperate time, but all hope is not lost. Your fraternity brothers have heard of your plight, and have offered to help set you up. You’re not really a fan of blind dates, but then again who the fuck really is? Sure, you can Facebook stalk the shit out of someone so that their mangled face or breathtaking hotness aren’t complete surprises, but other subtle character traits, like insanity, tend to be harder to recognize over the internet.
Your brothers have presented you with two options:
First, there’s the Top Tier Girl. She is gorgeous, and more importantly full-breasted, but you don’t know what this girl’s sexual attitude is quite like. Sure, her sorority is known for being a little snobby, and sometimes even prude, but maybe this girl is different? And either way, she’s still hot.
Your second date option is the Middle Tier Girl. Judging from her Facebook pictures she is a complete party animal, a total shitshow, and SaF. Sure she’s visually locked somewhere between the 6-7 range, but you’ve heard stories about this girl and you know that getting some action is more or less a sure thing.
Finally, you could always just stay home. Sure, you paid a lot of money for this formal trip, and skipping a visit to New Orleans would make you the ultimate pussy in the eyes of your brothers, but it’s not the end of the world.
So what’s it gonna be?
(Click your choice to continue)
Too fucking long.
13 years ago at 3:28 pmI ended up getting AIDS. The fuck?
13 years ago at 3:52 pmhow?
13 years ago at 2:36 pmThis was great. I’d love to see more of these.
First go-through, top-tier girl puking
13 years ago at 3:59 pm^
13 years ago at 4:05 pm^
13 years ago at 4:10 pmYep
13 years ago at 5:46 pm^^
13 years ago at 6:14 pmSomething’s going on here.. we all have very similar tastes
13 years ago at 12:14 amThis thread consists of the moderately classy gentlemen of today’s society.
13 years ago at 10:06 pmMy dates in jail. Fuck.
13 years ago at 4:08 pmAsking the top-tier woman her cup size first go around. TFTC?
13 years ago at 4:23 pmI lost $5000 and won the formal. TFTC
13 years ago at 4:37 pmgot the drunk girl puking… wish there was an option for some kinky puke sex.
13 years ago at 5:29 pmjust keep thrusting
13 years ago at 5:45 pmIt’s like drilling for oil. Once it comes out, all you have to do is keep thrusting and it’ll flow like a river though the side of your dick.
13 years ago at 8:19 pmwoah dude, I wasn’t talking about face fucking her while she projectile vomits on your junk.
13 years ago at 1:20 pmsounds like a good time to me
13 years ago at 7:38 pmGreat fun. LIke a fucking goosebumps book for fraternity men. All I did was take Bluto’s advice to keep drinking heavily.
13 years ago at 11:51 pmYes, those books were the best. This column is now the best
13 years ago at 7:38 pmThat’s exactly what I thought of.
13 years ago at 10:00 pmmotion for this column to be a TFM Top 10?
13 years ago at 10:58 amI got laid, drunk, and blow. How is that losing?
13 years ago at 4:57 pm