The Fraternity Alphabet
A is for America, our country and pride,
B is for the bullshit we told girls when we lied.
C is for the cockiness we all seem to share,
D is for being far too drunk to care.
E is for easy like the girl from last night,
F is, of course, for fraternity fights.
G is for grand-littles, the youngest of sisters,
H is for obnoxiously hitting on strippers.
I the involvement we avoid til we can’t,
J for the jobs our connections will grant.
K is for Kate Upton, I don’t need to say why,
L is for living like we’ll never die.
M is for making the best of our years,
N is never leaving behind empty beers.
O is for open container, a law we ignore,
P for this pledge class, bows and toes on the floor.
Q is for quickly, the way that we drink,
R is for ramming our junk in the pink.
S is for something…I got drunk and forgot,
T is for taking one too many shots.
U is undoing a freshman’s bra strap,
V for the glorious victory lap.
W for whiskey, the gentleman’s booze,
X is for Xanax (if that’s what you choose).
Y is for yoga pants, a reason worth living,
Z is for zero, the amount of fucks that we’re giving.
I found this very difficult to masturbate to. However the part about Kate Upton caused an inexplicable rush of blood to my penis just in time for me to jerk it.
12 years ago at 5:02 pmswag
12 years ago at 8:07 pm^I hope Butt_Pee unloads on your face
12 years ago at 12:23 pmThought this was pretty damn cool, actually. Cheers, bud.
12 years ago at 5:02 pmF is for FUCK PIKE!
12 years ago at 5:02 pmi cant tell if S was supposed to be funny or just lazy
12 years ago at 5:02 pmStuff Frat People Like… do you actually know stuff frat people like?
12 years ago at 5:07 pmI always knew I was named after the alphabet.
12 years ago at 5:13 pmAnd I always knew you were queer, boy
12 years ago at 6:12 pmHumorous.
12 years ago at 10:55 pmNo wonder Dorn has been feeling insecure. The columns have been pretty fucking terrible lately.
12 years ago at 5:23 pmGay.
12 years ago at 6:00 pmHow did Xanax make it in there? Its just GHB for hipsters.
12 years ago at 6:06 pmHave another word for X, dipshit?
12 years ago at 6:42 pmPoems are pretty fucking lame
12 years ago at 6:12 pm