The Fraternity Alphabet

A is for America, our country and pride,
B is for the bullshit we told girls when we lied.
C is for the cockiness we all seem to share,
D is for being far too drunk to care.
E is for easy like the girl from last night,
F is, of course, for fraternity fights.
G is for grand-littles, the youngest of sisters,
H is for obnoxiously hitting on strippers.
I the involvement we avoid til we can’t,
J for the jobs our connections will grant.
K is for Kate Upton, I don’t need to say why,
L is for living like we’ll never die.
M is for making the best of our years,
N is never leaving behind empty beers.
O is for open container, a law we ignore,
P for this pledge class, bows and toes on the floor.
Q is for quickly, the way that we drink,
R is for ramming our junk in the pink.
S is for something…I got drunk and forgot,
T is for taking one too many shots.
U is undoing a freshman’s bra strap,
V for the glorious victory lap.
W for whiskey, the gentleman’s booze,
X is for Xanax (if that’s what you choose).
Y is for yoga pants, a reason worth living,
Z is for zero, the amount of fucks that we’re giving.


  1. dmonster

    “N is never leaving behind empty beers.” …. So that’s what the cargo pockets are for; all your empty cans.

    12 years ago at 9:46 pm
  2. ChiefKeef

    Well done sir this was very nice and M should be for ‘MERICA!! just to say it twice

    12 years ago at 10:26 pm
  3. The_Chilis_Guy

    S is for shut the fuck up this is gay as hell. F is for fuck Florida, it’s worse than Alabama somehow. T is for tits.

    12 years ago at 10:23 am
  4. RisingFratstarOfTX

    I’m going to make sure my kids learn this alphabet before their geed teacher gives the the generic one.

    12 years ago at 11:43 am