The Fraternity Alphabet

A is for America, our country and pride,
B is for the bullshit we told girls when we lied.
C is for the cockiness we all seem to share,
D is for being far too drunk to care.
E is for easy like the girl from last night,
F is, of course, for fraternity fights.
G is for grand-littles, the youngest of sisters,
H is for obnoxiously hitting on strippers.
I the involvement we avoid til we can’t,
J for the jobs our connections will grant.
K is for Kate Upton, I don’t need to say why,
L is for living like we’ll never die.
M is for making the best of our years,
N is never leaving behind empty beers.
O is for open container, a law we ignore,
P for this pledge class, bows and toes on the floor.
Q is for quickly, the way that we drink,
R is for ramming our junk in the pink.
S is for something…I got drunk and forgot,
T is for taking one too many shots.
U is undoing a freshman’s bra strap,
V for the glorious victory lap.
W for whiskey, the gentleman’s booze,
X is for Xanax (if that’s what you choose).
Y is for yoga pants, a reason worth living,
Z is for zero, the amount of fucks that we’re giving.


  1. Brother Knight

    Was convinced prior to reading this it was going to be stupid as fuck, and through the first 5 or so letters i thought i was right, rounded out pretty well though, nicely played sfpl.

    12 years ago at 12:49 pm
  2. Douglas MacArthur

    I bet half these commenters that always hate on SFPL’s columns are in high school. How the fuck would you know what frat people like?

    12 years ago at 10:29 pm
  3. MERICA FUCK YEAH

    Well it seems to be a new fad to hate SFPL. I enjoyed this, you assholes are trying harder than he did. FAAAAAAAAAGSSSSSS

    12 years ago at 6:44 pm