The GOP Field: Real Time Frat Analysis
13 years ago

An in depth Real Time Frat Analysis of the remaining GOP contenders.

Rick Perry

 

You want to like what he’s bringing to the table. Exaggerated Texas accent, super cliché in normal conversations, shot a coyote while jogging… Looks decent on paper, but unfortunately, part of the process requires debates. Debates require talking. Talking requires a thought, which I believe requires synapses to fire in the brain. I’m not questioning his capacity, but I am questioning his ability to put together a coherent thought under pressure. He’s been reduced to piggybacking off of others’ responses during the debates. Seriously, he’ll just shout shit out to get some airtime. I respect that. Talking out of turn is an underrated frat move. I think most people subscribe to this rule: if when you talk during a debate, I have to turn away because I don’t like watching people poop their pants, I can’t support you. Look, sometimes you get in over your head, and Rick has found himself in this position. He’d be like the guy that gets appointed to an exec position just because everyone likes him. Good face guy, he means well, but there’s a good chance he’ll spray diarrhea all over the bed when shit gets real.

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  3. friendsinbroplaces

    I would honestly vote for Obama sonner than Paul. Paul’s foreign policy will take us back to the 1930’s, when Germany, Japan, Italy, and the USSR were annexing every neighbor they could, and the US did nothing about it. Sure, I’m against unnecessary foreign intervention, but doing nothing ensures that some dickhead in Shit-hole-istan will be able to acquire a nuke and then we will have real fucking problems.

    13 years ago at 5:30 am
    1. Mr Sir

      ^ Complete lack of historical accuracy. Funny you mentioned the USSR, considering they collapsed because they spent themselves into oblivion by stretching themselves thin.

      Oh, and one Shit-hole-istan (Pakistan) already has nukes. And remember the other ‘axis of evil,’ North Korea? They have them also. Notice we’re not even talking about intervening in either of their affairs? If Iran actually got nukes, (which, by the way, they don’t and the US government has been saying they will for decades), you know how that would affect us? Not at all.

      13 years ago at 10:17 am
    2. 247frat

      1. Al Qaeda fucking bombed us on our soil. They want us dead and will fight to the last man to do so, whether we “intervene” in their country or not. They have no country, only hatred for all things American.
      2. Taliban is fucking harboring al Qaeda.
      THEREFORE,
      Ron Paul thinks that by leaving the Taliban alone and exiting their country, we can fight global terrorism, especially against us, more efficiently? Give me a break.

      13 years ago at 10:52 am
    3. Mr Sir

      Why do they want us dead?
      And which country are you referring to when you talk about the Taliban?
      You have to look at motivation as a factor, and if you are one of those who thinks “Ahh Muslim Caliphate will take over the world unless we bomb them first!” then you really need to reassess what’s happened in the world since the 1950’s.

      13 years ago at 11:10 am
  4. US

    Chris Christie 2016. If Ron Paul doesn’t get the nomination, he better damn be picked up as the VP.

    13 years ago at 10:07 am
  5. 247frat

    “Politics” is overrated. I like Perry. Being able to debate is a very minor factor in the ability to run a country. See Bozo the Clown who’s in office now…the guy can debate, but he can’t run a country for shit. I don’t know if I’m going to vote for Perry because of his immigration plan, but struggling to come up with witty responses is not a factor in my decision and shouldn’t be in yours.

    13 years ago at 10:49 am
  8. yontcare

    Newt or Ron Paul.

    I like Newt because he wants to put black kids to work as janitors. Everyone needs to know their place

    13 years ago at 1:00 pm
  9. Tea Party Rage

    To all the comments listed saying Paul couldn’t win…. He is statistically tied with Obama to win. What is Obama going to attack him on?? Principle? Old newsletters when he was out practicing medicine?? He has nothing and would be killed in an ideological debate. What do we have with Romney? The flip flopping tail of the same coin as Obama.

    13 years ago at 4:26 pm
    1. Teddyhands

      Precisely.
      Romney and Obama have no important differences past rhetoric and soundbites.
      Dr. Paul not only is the only candidate that has consistently placed with or ahead of Obama in election surveys, he also has a significantly stellar career and history in the House and in various Committees.
      Dr. Paul has experience, integrity, and a plan. Romney has a haircut.

      13 years ago at 7:30 pm