The GOP Field: Real Time Frat Analysis
An in depth Real Time Frat Analysis of the remaining GOP contenders.
Rick Perry
You want to like what he’s bringing to the table. Exaggerated Texas accent, super cliché in normal conversations, shot a coyote while jogging… Looks decent on paper, but unfortunately, part of the process requires debates. Debates require talking. Talking requires a thought, which I believe requires synapses to fire in the brain. I’m not questioning his capacity, but I am questioning his ability to put together a coherent thought under pressure. He’s been reduced to piggybacking off of others’ responses during the debates. Seriously, he’ll just shout shit out to get some airtime. I respect that. Talking out of turn is an underrated frat move. I think most people subscribe to this rule: if when you talk during a debate, I have to turn away because I don’t like watching people poop their pants, I can’t support you. Look, sometimes you get in over your head, and Rick has found himself in this position. He’d be like the guy that gets appointed to an exec position just because everyone likes him. Good face guy, he means well, but there’s a good chance he’ll spray diarrhea all over the bed when shit gets real.
If Mitt gets the nomination over Paul, I’m writing in Ron Paul in November even if he doesn’t run as a third party, just out principal. Mitt Romney is a fucking two-faced hack. He’ll whore himself out however much it takes to get votes, who knows what he’d ACTUALLY do if he got elected? Newt is a piece of a shit human being and a serial liar, I wouldn’t vote for him either. Santorum is a religious nut job who thinks the government should tell the people how to live and regulate their behavior. That isn’t being conservative, that’s being fascist. Fuck that, and fuck him, too.
Ron Paul 2012. He’s the only one who actually cares about America and wants to bring it back to its former glory solely out of love for his country, instead of for a bunch of ulterior motives, like money from lobbyists and donors. He’s the only one who isn’t going to senselessly start a war with Iran that we don’t need (at least until they actually are proven to be making nukes…they aren’t yet, and aren’t even close!) and can’t afford. He’s the only one who respects the Constitution, instead of wiping his ass with it when it isn’t convenient to his politics like 98% of the other candidates will.
13 years ago at 1:16 amMost of the people at my firm are supporting Obama. Its the smart bet but jeeezus. Obama was the guy who would show up at parties and I would let him and whatever fat chick he brought with him in …and then I would ask him to gtfo – and he would because pussies like Barack Obama have no balls.
13 years ago at 1:49 amSo you kept the fat chicks for yourself?
13 years ago at 2:38 ammost of the people at your bitch ass firm are probably bleeding heart liberal progressive sissies too, whom are contributing to the detriment of our beautiful country
13 years ago at 11:06 amRon Paul is a fucking pussy. Gingrich married his high school sweetheart so that’s a non-starter for me. I would have liked to vote for Perry but he is retarded. I’m putting my cock out for Mitten. By his own admission he speaks for the 1% and that makes his shit gold as far as I’m concerned.
13 years ago at 1:54 amHow does standing by your principals and not giving in to pressure from either lobbyists or Congressional peers for 40 years make Ron Paul a pussy? Mitt Romney will suck whatever cock he needs to get the nomination. He’s the pussy, he’s political whore- he’ll say anything and do anything.
You are a fucking idiot.
13 years ago at 2:41 amHe stands by his principles but I fucking don’t like Muslims. In truth, I really don’t care for spades like Obama either. I want a Pres who will bomb those fucks to kingdom come.
13 years ago at 3:50 amgangbanker please go murder yourself for the greater good of the community. gdi
13 years ago at 11:10 amWhatever Republican 2012, because any of these guys will do better than the socialist we’ve got now
13 years ago at 8:13 amPaul- our only hope
13 years ago at 12:25 pmRomney- Fickle, plays directly off his looks and speech
Newt- we would engaged in war until Jesus returns
Santorum- simple, absolute fucking retard