The Obituary of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard
The following obituary appeared in the Denver Post:
Blanchard, Michael “Flathead”
1944 ~ 2012
A Celebration of the life of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.
Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.
Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.
I raise all of you THIS as the greatest obit ever:
13 years ago at 8:27 pmhttp://democratherald.com/news/local/most-decorated-marine-pilot-dies-at/article_f186286f-5820-58e9-98b1-b55315fd4829.html
website contains “democrat” in the name but it’s about a marine pilot. conflicted.
13 years ago at 8:45 pmShot Down 5 times and in one of them he literally crashed his own plane into someone else. FAF AMERICA!!!!! FUCK YEA!!!
13 years ago at 9:51 pmhttp://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/us/john-fairfax-who-rowed-across-oceans-dies-at-74.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3&ei=5065&partner=MYWAY
Obviously attempting suicide is NF, but attempting suicide by jaguar is still pretty fucking funny.
I don’t care how much of this is NF. Still the coolest obituary ever.
12 years ago at 5:14 pmNaming your son Chopper. FaF
13 years ago at 9:00 pmGET TO ZE CHOPPA
13 years ago at 8:21 amI can only hope I go out like this guy. RIP sir.
13 years ago at 6:55 amsomeone sent this out on our alumni listserv a couple weeks back. talk about someone living how he wanted.
13 years ago at 12:07 pmJust ring the bell you pussy.
13 years ago at 12:21 pmGod Bless America!
13 years ago at 10:47 pm=== http://www.crazy-handbags.com ====== moncler cl0thing $110 cheapest (TOP) N1ke A1r Max, Jordan (1-24) shoes $ 31 all style of UG~G $ 50 Nike sh0x (R4, NZ, OZ, TL1, TL2, TL3) $ 31 T-shirts (Polo, Ed Hardy, Lacoste) $ 22 $
12 years ago at 9:01 pmNaming your son Chopper. TFM
12 years ago at 10:31 am11 years ago at 10:05 am