The Official 2016 Not Frat Bracket Championship Game: Hillary Clinton vs. Feminism

NFBracketChampionship

The Official 2016 Not Frat Bracket is here.

Earlier this year, your votes determined that Natural Light is 2016’s frattest thing. Now, it’s time to find out what reigns supreme at the opposite end of the spectrum — what is 2016’s most NF (not frat) thing? That’s up to you to decide.

This is it. The last 1.5 months of voting and the elimination of 62 contenders have led to this one shining moment. The vote to end all (NF-related) votes. The Championship Game. But first, here’s how things went down in the Final Four.

*UPSET* #1 Cargos fell to #2 Hillary Clinton 41%-59%

*UPSET*#1 North Korea got DEMOLISHED by #3 Feminism 25%-75%

So now we have a 2 seed in Hillary Clinton and a 3 seed in Feminism facing off to determine the pinnacle of not fratdom for 2016. They’re gonna leave it all out there on the field and, after it’s all said and done, we’ll have a new poster child for NF. I can’t wait.

To see how the bracket played out from the round of 64 down to the Elite Eight, click here.

The winner of the NF Bracket will be announced next week

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#2 Hillary Clinton

Victories over: #15 Piercings, #7 TOMS, #14 Hot Topic, #1 Socialism, #1 Cargos

Coming in off of back-to-back victories over 1 seeds, it’s incredibly clear that Hillary Clinton is not here to mess around. She wants the NF Bracket Championship, and she wants it now.

There’s not much to say about Hildog that hasn’t already been said. Her actions led to the deaths of some of America’s finest gentleman in Benghazi, she’s the Democratic candidate for president (Gross!), she prefers the Blackberry to the FaF iPhone, and she has told so many lies that if she were Pinocchio, her nose would be so long that she wouldn’t be able to get close enough to Slick Willy to blow him (though I feel like she’s not doing too much of that already anyways).

We sent Hillary an email to see if she had anything she wanted to say to the NF Bracket voters, but she never got back to us. She must’ve “accidentally” deleted it.

Required viewing: Watch Hillary Clinton Lie For 14 Straight Minutes, Because Politics Are Honestly Hilarious

*****

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#3 Feminism

Victories over: #14 Flat-brim hats, #6 Hoverboards, #2 Bernie Sanders, #8 Gun control, #1 North Korea

I can hear the outrage now. “TFM’s “Not Frat” Championship Game is being played between Hillary Clinton and Feminism? MISOGYNY RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE SEXIST RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE FRAT DOUCHES RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!” Calm down. These two aren’t NF because they’re feminine, they’re NF because they’re… NF. Hillary is a lying Democrat, and feminists (these are over-the-top, radical feminists, mind you, not normal feminists) use baseless arguments to guilt others into hating themselves and their privilege. Those characteristics would make anything NF; having a vagina has nothing to do with it.

Over-the-top feminists are as annoying as it gets. They yell at you for made-up microaggressions and make you feel bad for being the benefactor of a system you did nothing to create. Plus, a lot of them smell bad and have so much armpit hair that they could cut it off, insulate a house with it, and then yell at the house for being symbolic of the suppressed female.

Required viewing: This…

“If you shut the fuck up and let me read my list, there’s the fuckin’ proof.”

“I’m reading, fuckface.”

“Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! You hate sexism but you’re in MRA? Point taken; we… like… we win. Sorry.”

A lot of productive dialogue comin’ out of Carrot Top’s mouth in this diatribe.

*****

It’s time to vote.

The winner of the NF Bracket will be announced next week

For the fastest way to keep up with TFM, download our free smartphone app.

Bracket design by Connor Davis. Follow him on Instagram.

Images via YouTube, YouTube

  1. TCUHornyFrog

    Can we just have some Hunger Games esque scenario where both finalists get hunt down by the government in an effort to kill them?

    9 years ago at 7:49 pm
  2. Karl Karlson

    Get your popcorn ready because Jezebel just lost their collective minds with this one boys.

    9 years ago at 7:50 pm
    1. Shut up Meg

      Fuck yeah. Ill take Hilary Clinton, has to be Vegas’ favorite, though feminism is equally ridiculous.

      9 years ago at 8:23 pm
      1. RisingFratstarOfTX

        Honestly, I could get through a stretch of hil-dawg speeches intact, because it’d be funny to watch her lie like the country is full of 5 year olds. I didn’t even get through a full minute of that feminist cunt’s rant. Nope, couldn’t do it.

        9 years ago at 10:20 pm
      2. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        Well the average democrat voter has the reasoning skills of a five year old so it makes sense.

        9 years ago at 6:24 am
      3. SharkWeekTFM

        Feminism is the more NF. I said this before: despite our differing views (much like different chapters have differing views) Hildog has manipulated a system that fucks over others to achieve her own ends. She takes specific effort to create a facade to keep the powers that be off her back.
        She does a lot of things a high functioning frat should do.

        Over the top feminists don’t even make rational sense and aren’t presentable to anyone but each other and I bet they even try to out do each other.

        9 years ago at 10:46 am
      4. SharkWeekTFM

        If I can say one more thing. This is an example of a time that a representative democracy would have been preferable to popular vote. There were a lot of significant errors in this competition. People made choices on snap/emotional judgments.

        This is vote is just for fun but it’s representative of a problem in our current political climate. The diligent, difficult but boring process has been foregone. We have allowed the circus and spectacle the media has made this out to be affect us and work us up into overly riled up mobs more intent on hating the other side than taking a good hard look at what could be better about our own team. The most fanatical and most emotional side unfortunately is the right wing and though it has caused some few small victories (or rather blocked small victories of the other side) it has done detrimental damage to the party over all.

        9 years ago at 11:01 am
      5. Ronald Sumner

        “The most emotional side unfortunately is the right wing.”

        That’s a joke, right?

        9 years ago at 9:26 am
      6. BoozinCruizin

        I think he means that as reactionary, defensive, passionate, expressive, hard-headed; Trump fans waving confederate flags. Not necessarily the touchy-feely, cry-baby, whiny, pussification; BLMers at Milo Y.’s latest event.

        9 years ago at 6:18 pm
  3. Magnum_Dong

    I’m picking Hillary because the base idea of feminism isn’t NF but the way most of its followers act is very NF. Also Hillary beat cargos so that means she can beat just about anything

    9 years ago at 7:52 pm
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      It clearly states that true feminism can’t be put in the NF category, we are discussing the over the top form of “feminism” even though it shouldn’t be called that. You’re made a snap judgment based on negativity or even hate instead of taking a good hard look at the facts.

      9 years ago at 11:04 am
      1. BoozinCruizin

        But it just says “feminism.” There’s no additional qualifier – neo, third-wave, modern, SJW, etc. And for that, I say Hillary for NF leader. A legitimate feminist can still make a positive impact, and have before.

        9 years ago at 6:22 pm
      2. WhiteNation88

        Beta.

        Feminism is a degenerate ideology cooked up by (((you know who)))

        9 years ago at 9:21 pm
      3. WhiteNation88

        Feminism is NF. You honestly believe women should wield political authority or vote?

        Absolutely incredible that people see this as a good thing.

        9 years ago at 9:24 pm
    2. WhiteNation88

      The fact that 89 people upvoted your pathetic cucking by saying “the base idea of feminism isn’t NF” is actually frightening. This website and subculture is supposed to be filled with high IQ’d white men.

      If you think that women should be able to vote, or wield political power, you are either A. stupid or B. trying to not offend those who have already declared themselves the enemy of white, hetero, right wing, males which is actually more pathetic.

      Feminism. Not even once.

      Understand the biological realities of the sexes. You’ll be a lot better for it.

      9 years ago at 7:13 pm
      1. WhiteNation88

        I’m sure you get laid all the time man, you’ve got all the right opinions in this current year of ours.

        9 years ago at 10:32 pm
      2. Sterling Malory Archer

        Does your sister/wife know you’re the one fucking up her dial up connection by taking many hour to think up what to post on here? Seriously inconsiderate bro

        9 years ago at 4:36 pm
      3. WhiteNation88

        Looks like I’ve triggered some betas, feminists, and liberals.

        Reality is a little too real for cucks, where is that safe space?

        9 years ago at 10:31 pm
      4. WalkerTXRanger

        Son, you realize that what you’re saying is straight out of the 19th century. You’re not “frat” for thinking that women don’t deserve rights, you’re just wrong.

        9 years ago at 1:33 pm
    1. TCUHornyFrog

      careful, you may not get your foot back if you put it in a feminist’s obese ass.

      9 years ago at 7:54 pm
  4. Ohiostatee

    Watching that feminism video was painful. I feel bad for the man that had to try and argue with a bunch of idiots. No one deserves that.

    9 years ago at 7:58 pm
    1. Larry_Sellers

      For those who remember, wasn’t that red-haired woman in the video Rad_Fem’s avatar?

      9 years ago at 8:13 pm
  5. lca_94

    I’ve never felt more dirty than having to make a choice between these two evils.

    9 years ago at 8:00 pm
  6. Liberty or Death

    This was a tough one but as much as I despise Hillary Clinton, there is nothing more nf than man-hating feminists, the majority of which are geeds. That’s about as nf as it gets

    9 years ago at 8:04 pm
  7. Bmichaels

    Can’t wait for the front page buzzfeed article from a triggered feminist Hillary supporter within the next week.

    9 years ago at 8:05 pm