The Official 2016 Not Frat Bracket: Round Of 32

Screen Shot 2016-06-22 at 10.33.28 AM

The Midwest Region

#1 North Korea vs. #8 Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute

A country that represents the horrors of totalitarianism, or a Swiss think tank that is unfortunate enough to have the acronym GDI… Unless you’re really hung up on this whole GDI thing, you know who the winner in this matchup has to be.

#2 Trigger warnings vs. #10 Ponytails

Nobody should need to be warned that there is a possibility of them maybe being offended by something, but also nobody should ever have their hair done up in a ponytail unless they have a vagina (like I said last time, karate masters are an exception).

#4 Vaping vs. #5 Sobriety

I’d rather go sober for the rest of my life than listen to a vaper tell me about his favorite oils and all the new mods he just got for his piece. Could you imagine meeting a sober vaper? I’d drink bleach on the spot.

#6 Poetry slams vs. #14 Campus Quidditch leagues

The sport of the artsy dorks vs. the sport of the dorky nerds. What a matchup. Kudos to Quidditch on the upset, but it can it take down this coffee shop staple? I think Quidditch is about to get the Avada Kedavra treatment.

Go to the next page to vote on the South Region

      1. Fratty McFratFrat

        When we see “Incest” we push the button. There’s no logic involved, just primordial instinct.

        9 years ago at 4:36 pm
    1. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

      How am I supposed to vote while I poop if it doesn’t work in the app?

      9 years ago at 4:02 pm
  1. Tall Can Sam

    As a Mizzou student, I hope safe spaces pull off the upset and win it all. Cargos will be a pretty tough opponent, though.

    9 years ago at 4:10 pm
  2. What Is Haze Prevention

    Rigging the bracket to put Steve holt against cargos knowing that we can’t vote against cargos, therefore making Steve feel better. NF.

    9 years ago at 4:11 pm
  3. Goat Lives Matter

    By the transitive property, if Natty Light is the most frat thing to do then sobriety should be the most NF to do right? At minimum it should beat out veganism.

    9 years ago at 4:38 pm
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      By the “which one wins” property you’re saying veganism is MORE FRAT than a state you are in a considerable amount of time. Is sober you therefore less frat than a drunk vegan person? Nope. I have confidence you’re a pretty frat individual.

      Also I’m still pretty damn sober after only 1 natty.

      9 years ago at 5:44 pm
  4. JohnnyPaul52

    How the hell did poetry slams beat crocs? Not to say poetry slams are frat, but still.

    9 years ago at 4:42 pm