The Official 2016 Not Frat Bracket: Round Of 64
9 years ago

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The West Coast Region

#1 Cargos vs. #16 Premature ejaculation

Considering premature ejaculation is borderline frat, I think we all know how this matchup is going to end up.

#2 Safe spaces vs. #15 Hemp products

In just their first year of existence, safe spaces have already earned themselves a 2 seed. Pretty impressive stuff, but not undeserved. Not even a little. Safe spaces jumped onto the NF scene and took it by storm, and we’re all worse people because of it. Hemp products are the bread and butter of the hippie crowd, but let’s be real — this is an uphill battle for them.

#3 PETA vs. #14 World of Warcraft

In this corner, you have a bunch of vegheads running around throwing blood on fur coats, and in that corner, you have a bunch of virgins running around slaying murlocs. This is a battle of terrible hobbies.

#4 Condoms vs. #13 Skintight jeans

If you use condoms, you can’t sit with us (us being the table consisting of me and all the illegitimate children I have as a consequence of never wearing a condom. If you wear skintight jeans, you also can’t sit with us (I won’t have my children associating with dudes who have purple feet because the circulation to their legs is so poor. That’s just unwholesome, and I’m a family guy).

#5 Longboards vs. #12 Slacklining

What a fucking matchup. Two NF powerhouse hobbies, one mobile and one immobile. I can’t wait for the results.

#6 Incest vs. #11 Community college

While keeping your bloodline pure a la the McPoyles may sound frat at first, when you realize that it only comes about by banging your relative, it suddenly becomes very NF. Technically incestuous people can be in fraternities, though, while community college students can’t. An interesting battle here.

#7 Fedoras vs. #10 Ultimate frisbee

The most NF hat fight off against the most popular NF team sport. Unlike ultimate ‘bee, fedoras used to be frat back in their heyday. Their appropriation into fat dudes’ wardrobes, however, destroyed their once honorable status.

#8 Attending class vs. #9 Steve Holt

Going to class is lame as shit, but, on the other hand, fuck Steve Holt.

Go to the next page to vote on the Midwest Region

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  2. ThePatternIsFull

    For God sake, if you are going to put these things on the app, make sure they are going to work. It’s not that hard. I’m pretty sure Intern Scrotum-stench could make this work. Come on Boosh, you’re better than this.

    9 years ago at 11:31 am
  3. fratstar570

    This was painful as fuck to fill out. Almost as hard as trying to determine who’s the worst TFM writer, SteveHolt or Wally Bryton?

    9 years ago at 11:34 am
    1. keg__atron69

      Tbh, I think it does. Same way the size of my wallet makes up for the size of my dick

      9 years ago at 11:45 am
  6. TDUB_Frathound

    How the fuck did Bernie Sanders make it to be seated in the south? He’s a Vermont cuck

    9 years ago at 11:51 am
    1. AlotInsideAmySchumer

      Also, at the current rate it has been going, where’s the wall. Fuck Steve Holt.

      9 years ago at 12:29 pm
      1. thevaginator

        It’s getting killed right now. I have a feeling that the People’s Republic of TFM realized their error and, in an attempt to prevent triggering their overly sensitive intern, rigged the vote.

        9 years ago at 1:29 am
      4. AbbyMiah

        Here Before I saw the check which was of 19733 dollar , I didn’t believe that…my… mother in law woz like realey bringing in money part time at their laptop.. there great aunt haz done this 4 only 22 months and resently paid for the morgage on there condo and got a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class…
        Visit this website…WWW.BuzzFeedReport.TK

        9 years ago at 11:58 am
  8. Han Polo

    From my experience, premature ejaculation is somewhat frat neutral. If not, it’s slightly frat positive. Doesn’t matter had sex.

    9 years ago at 11:55 am
    1. MaptainCorgan

      Wait so prematurely ejaculating from a dry hj isn’t frat? Asking for a friend

      9 years ago at 1:19 pm
      1. Han Polo

        I am getting word that “dry hj ejaculation” is an event at the Frolympics (Frat Olympics). Ask your “friend” if he recorded his time, he may qualify.

        9 years ago at 10:12 pm
    2. frapitalism

      finishing early is a definite TFM, so I’m thinking that jumping the gun is frat positive.

      9 years ago at 7:23 am
    1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

      Woah, they’re big leagues, playing on the Olympic stage. This is just the collegiate tournament.

      9 years ago at 12:58 pm