The Official 2018 Frat Bracket: Round Of 32
7 years ago

It’s March and we’ve got bracket fever, so we ran back the Frat Bracket. The goal of the Frat Bracket is for the public (that’s you) to rock the vote as a means of determining the year’s frattest thing, whether that be an object, concept, action, event, or what have you. Follow along and help us decide what reigns supreme in the 2018 fraternity world.

We made it through the round of 64 with a few upsets, but nothing UMBC-esque. Check out how it all turned out here. You may have noticed that the poll service we used for that last round absolutely blew. Truly awful. We’ve since fixed that problem right up as a means of making the Frat Bracket experience more of a breeze for our voting public. Sorry about that back there.

The 2018 Frat Bracket is brought to you by Man Outfitters, the #1 spot on the internet to buy clothes if you’re someone who enjoys giving off all the correct vibes. With brands like Patagonia, Vineyard Vines, Sperry, Columbia, Southern Marsh, The North Face, YETI, Rowdy Gentleman, Outdoor Voices, and many, many more, ManOutfitters.com is either the spot you already buy all your clothes from or the one you’re soon to buy all your clothes from after you check out their offerings here. Shouts to them for their support of the 2018 Frat Bracket.

Let’s get to our first region.

Note: Bracket regions are named after the four main frat regions in a purely ceremonial manner. The things listed under them do not necessarily have any specific relationship with that respective frat region.

All polls will be closed on Friday, March 22, at 5:30 p.m. CST

The East Coast Region

#1 JUULing vs. #8 Nepotism

Nobody’s surprised JUULing made it to the round of 32. Nobody. Just like how nobody’s ever been madder about the theft(?) of their JUUL than this guy.

JUULing’s a 1 seed for a reason, that reason being JUULs are fucking everywhere right now (except in that angry guy’s possession).

Very much unlike JUUL, which recently burst onto the scene in a BIG way, nepotism is an OG frat concept. The connections made in one’s fraternity days leading them to accomplish things they don’t deserve is one thing that’s withstood the test of time and been sold to every rushee ever at the start of each semester.

So what will it be in this battle of new and old?

[poll id=”90″]

#4 Dip vs. #5 Hawaiian shirts

These two go in hand in hand, so I understand if you find it difficult to pick just one. Hawaiian shirts have more mass appeal, sure, but those who dip are pretty serious about dipping, what with their chemical dependence on the stuff. I wonder if anyone has a chemical dependence on Hawaiian shirts? That’s a good question for our sponsor Man Outfitters *seamless plug*.

[poll id=”91″]

#3 Whiskey vs. #6 Cigarettes

This seems relevant:

Let’s be real: both deserve to move on. You can’t go wrong here. Just trust your gut.

[poll id=”92″]

#2 Smirnoff Ice (Icing) vs. #7 Not paying dues

Do you value happiness over everything else? Because if so, you probably have Smirnoff Ice (Icing) going farrrrrr. You can’t help but smile watching someone get Iced. Proof:

Icing level: expert (@jakenave42)

A post shared by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Not paying dues, on the other hand, is undoubtedly indicative of the lifestyle many of us live: lazy, bad priorities, etc. Definitely deserving of a spot in the round of 32, and maybe even further depending on y’alls thoughts.

[poll id=”93″]

Go to the next page to vote on the West Coast Region

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  2. mitch cumstein69

    Hey TFM intern. I’m not sure why you’d write this “what’s the most frat” bracket and put hazing as a 1 seed. You have to understand why people want to shut your organizations down when websites like this glorify hazing (you are literally labeling it as one of the most important aspects of “being frat.”)

    Just this past year, you had two pledges, Tim Piazza and Max gruver, die due to hazing administered (and in Tim’s case, covered up) by their so-called brothers.

    I don’t know, man. Something about hazing doesn’t seem like something that should be comedically lauded as frat. I’m not telling you how to do your job, or what articles to write. That’s all you, my man. But don’t be shocked when people call to restrict or shut down Greek life on college campuses, when it’s apparent that articles like this represent the culture of Greek life.

    7 years ago at 4:33 pm
    4. SharkWeekTFM

      Hazing can be just about anything. When done correctly and responsibly, keeping the goal of shaping and bonding/strengthening a group in mind and NOT letting idiots do it to get their aggression out or do something “funny,” it can be a good tool for edifying a fraternity.

      But in this day and age of the instantaneous spread of information and one-upmanship, it’s very hard to walk that fine line.

      Being a number one seed has to do with the fact that hazing has a place in our histories and traditions. For the vast majority of all frats and their respective histories, hazing was treated like a wild animal: you give it the respect it deserves; acknowledge that it is dangerous and act accordingly; and don’t take any but the most calculated of risks.

      7 years ago at 9:46 pm
  3. David Allen Coe

    Juuls and fucking fortnite are going to outlast either whiskey or cigs. Where the fuck did we go wrong

    7 years ago at 5:48 am
    1. jizzrag69v2

      Right, because technology-based fads that have been popular less than a year will definitely outlast addiction-supported products that have been in use for hundreds of years.

      7 years ago at 5:59 am
      2. jizzrag69v2

        Well excuuuuuuse me, Shape Of Water, but I consider this bracket to be a metaphor for Real Life.

        7 years ago at 10:20 pm
      3. SharkWeekTFM

        Of course it’s a metaphor for real life but not in terms of long term longevity of EXISTENCE in frat culture but rather the current stance in RANK of these things as it pertains to this year.

        7 years ago at 10:40 pm
      6. ThinkThereforeFRAT

        I mean HE. HE wouldn’t have to comment at all if you had a monkey’s grasp of what is happening here.

        7 years ago at 8:41 am
  7. SharkWeekTFM

    Foldable tables didn’t make sense to me at first but I think with beer pong representing the drinking games clan, table jumping can cover our “ridiculous, damaging drunk physical incidents” base.

    7 years ago at 9:52 pm