The Official 2018 Frat Bracket: Round Of 64
The South Region
#1 Hazing vs. #16 Braided leather belts
The 2016 Frat Bracket runner up is back and wants revenge. And, unless you’re a huuuugggeeee braided leather belt fan, it looks like it’s going to get a shot at it.
#2 Tailgating vs. #15 Expensive ski vacations
Tailgating is everything that’s great about being in a fraternity, and going on expensive ski vacations is everything that’s great about being a rich asshole with “fuck you” money. Both are deservedly here, no doubt. Our apologies if seeing the word “tailgating” is making you long for tailgate season.
#3 Flip cup vs. #14 Belly flops
The #1 party game faces off against the #1 way to rupture your spleen while on spring break. RIP this guy…
My guess is only beer pong purists and those who haven’t mastered the flip will vote belly flops.
#4 Intramural sports vs. #13 Raising Cane’s
Participation in IM sports is great because it’s acceptable (and expected) for you to show up drunk and make an ass of yourself, all with bragging rights on the line. Cane’s Sauce is fucking delicious. If enough foodboys show up here, IM sports may be going down. That’s a big “if,” though.
#5 New Balance vs. #12 Apathy
Frat cruisers are the OG fraternity shoe. Pair them with a good sock scrunch and there is nothing — I repeat NOTHING — more fraternal you can do with your feet. Apathy? Eh, it’s okay.
#6 Fraternity probation vs. #11 Jumping on foldable tables
Getting put on probation is a time-honored rite of passage for any fraternity. Unless you’re a bunch of weird idiots or creepfucks, getting put on probation usually means your fraternity is doing something right. If you’re jumping on foldable tables, it also means you’re doing something right (namely “jumping on foldable tables”).
#7 Holes in drywall vs. #10 Raging Mammoth
Drunk punching a wall vs. punching a hole in a beer before you get drunk? I love this battle.
#8 Whataburger vs. #9 Playing darts
Last but not least, we have the delicious and immaculate 24/7 fast food restaurant of Texas that gave (and continues to give) us the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit going head-to-head vs. a bar game staple. This is a battle that almost certainly depends on whether or not you’ve ever eaten food from Whataburger and how shitty you are at darts.
Cool. The same thing as 2 years ago but with maybe a 1/3 of the readers
7 years ago at 3:39 pmYou forgot the number 1 overall seed: Plowing sigmanugs mom’s tight little asshole
7 years ago at 4:48 pmNot actually that frat.
7 years ago at 11:03 pmWell considering you are a pike you’re about as not frat as it gets slugger
7 years ago at 11:16 pmApparently plowing my mom is pretty frat. I was conceived when she pulled a train after an IFC meeting. That’s why she named me Fratty. It was either that or Football Team.
7 years ago at 4:44 amInsulting your own mother to try and roast an internet stranger. Bold strategy champ
7 years ago at 10:01 amThat kid is like that attention whore sororistute who sets herself up for people to talk about her. Kid is just trying to make up for all the little league games his dad didn’t come to cause he was getting splinters riding the pine
7 years ago at 11:02 amYou should change your name to ButtHurtFTW.
7 years ago at 7:13 amYes, because roasting others’ mom’s is so much more original…..original….original. Sorry, that echo is because I’m standing too close to your mom’s gaping chasm.
7 years ago at 11:02 amYou should look into bold strategy means dumbfuck. It’s definitely not saying the same tired ass bullshit each day dipshit.
7 years ago at 11:19 amA little upset it’s sigmanugs Saturday’s little guy? Don’t worry, I’ll have your mom back in one piece, although I can’t promise the same about her asshole
7 years ago at 11:43 amYou gave virginator his most original comment yet.
7 years ago at 10:34 amUpset it’s Fratty Couples Friday huh little man? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that if your mom’s anus prolapses we get it fixed before next week.
7 years ago at 12:03 pmAre you fucking kidding? No Sperrys. Fuck you intern
7 years ago at 6:09 pmTry less champ
7 years ago at 6:15 pmTry harder
7 years ago at 9:19 pmCan’t believe I was snubbed. I’m the frattiest thing on the planet, as you can tell by my name.
7 years ago at 4:40 amWould other name brand loafers be frat or is just Sperry’s, I only wore Sperry in college but as I age I’ve received a pair of Tommy Bahama’s that after being worn everyday for 7 months are barely starting to stink. I needed 3 pairs of Sperry’s a semester because they would just start to stink
7 years ago at 5:47 pmI think things like Sperrys, drunk Mario cart, and certain other things aren’t in running because they’ve already cemented their place in frat legend status. But by that logic toga parties should be legend status. Maybe it’s that Sperrys (and others) are clearly frat legend AND still culturally significant but toga parties, although legend status, need to be reassessed for the modern relevance and practical application.
Or this was not a well thought out bracket… that’s possible.
7 years ago at 10:05 pmSperry and cocaine and drunk Mario cart all failed to make the tourney? Dann strong field
7 years ago at 6:22 pmHad to make room for fucking juuling and fortnite.
7 years ago at 6:44 pmVaping is gay. NF
7 years ago at 11:08 amYeah it is.
7 years ago at 10:16 amSurprised that “Virginator calling you a virgin or a fucking loser” didn’t make the cut.
7 years ago at 7:07 amTwo separate posts talking about me in the same article? Good Lord kid I knew I had your brain by the balls but this is just sad
7 years ago at 12:01 pmGo jump off a bridge and recite my drunk rant on your way down as you’ve got it memorized by heart
7 years ago at 5:51 pmSay that to my face you fucking pussy. Good Lord I would love to knock you the fuck out
7 years ago at 9:02 pmThe only reason Chilis is here is because either Chilis Guy is now the intern or TFM just needed a throwback either way rip to a real one.
7 years ago at 9:09 amyou shut your mouth. chilis guy is a saint.
7 years ago at 9:44 amI think it just depends on your college town, I wouldn’t know the Chili’s experience but I guess for some college towns that’s a thing people do, where I was (the south) the Chili’s was run by a bunch of idiots and service was crap. But I could see if your bartender is a cute piece of ass working her way through college and the servers did a good job it could be enjoyable.
7 years ago at 5:50 pmAre we still dipping and burning heaters these days? I think Virginator should increase his chances of getting cancer as much as possible, but I thought most rational people had wised up.
7 years ago at 9:22 amEasy there slugger. Running your mouth like that will get you your ass beat. Now sit down or take this bait
7 years ago at 12:01 pmHow is hitting your buddy with a golf cart a 16-seed? That’s just indescribable. It’s at least a 5-seed.
7 years ago at 10:14 amShenanigans on the golf course are up there. Things poor’s can’t do that are very FAF
7 years ago at 5:52 pmYou’re one of the poorest users on this site kid you’ve admitted it yourself
7 years ago at 9:03 pmSince Virginia was the first team in NCAA history to be upset by a 16, I think it only fair that hitting your buddy with a golf cart be the first such upset in TFM history in the same year.
7 years ago at 10:06 amI’m actually impressed that enough users of this website know what “nepotism” means for it to be in the lead against Chili’s.
7 years ago at 10:17 amThey teach you what that means at Wendy’s little man?
7 years ago at 1:41 pmWhat about Wendy’s is nepotistic?
7 years ago at 3:37 pmI dont know little man I don’t work there. But considering you do how about giving us some insight?
7 years ago at 5:29 pmI suppose you would know more about nepotism, considering your family has kept everything in the family for the past 150 years.
7 years ago at 5:01 pmFlaming shots are way more frat than cigs. You can smoke cigs your whole life but you’re generally only dumb enough to take flaming shots during college.
7 years ago at 10:19 amI have trained my body and my soul for three hundred years
7 years ago at 3:35 am