The Speech A.J. Hinch Gave To The Houston Astros After Clinching A Playoff Spot Was Every Fraternity President’s Speech To His Chapter Ever
After clinching the second wildcard spot this afternoon, Houston Astros manager, A.J. Hinch, took center stage and gave his ball club a celebratory speech straight out of every fraternity president’s playbook.
"We're a f__king playoff team!" Hinch speech. #Astros pic.twitter.com/rpkmv4gL9g
— Brian T. Smith (@ChronBrianSmith) October 4, 2015
Goosebumps. I feel like I’m back at the house after a great week of recruitment or on the turf fields after an IM championship. Hinch starts out like he’s watched one too many Gordon Bombay speeches over the last few days, in preparation for this moment, only to devolve into f-bombs every other word once the drunk obnoxious brother (Hank Conger) chimes in with an icebreaking “Fuck em!” to get the ball rolling.
Hank Conger is the sixth-year-senior that still takes gen eds to scope out the talent in the new freshman class..
I didn’t hear “pay you’re fuckin dues” once
10 years ago at 10:38 pmYou must be so frat tell us more
10 years ago at 1:34 am“Pay you are fuckin dues” makes sense
10 years ago at 6:51 amKill yourself and Bernie Sanders too while you’re at it
10 years ago at 8:14 amShort and sweet. Fuck em!
10 years ago at 10:39 pmYou’ve been putting in some weird hours lately Danny boy.
10 years ago at 10:41 pmWhat? Are you his fucking mother?
10 years ago at 10:53 pmhe’s been posting and masturbating non stop for about a week or so. all he asks for is ham and cheese sandwiches and lube.
10 years ago at 1:31 am-dan’s mom
Take me back to Halloween, 2008, a young man with a messy head of hair takes the streets of Philadelphia. Instead of the usual negative attitude surrounding the city, pheremones of passion and achievement glide through the air like dildos going into a well proportioned porn star from all angles. My feet begin to ache. Then, up ahead in the distance, Pat “The Bat – I fucked your wife” Burrell leads the way riding a horse drawn chariot. Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins and Chooch are before my eyes. Chase goes into the stadium and profoundly declares the Phillies “World Fucking Champions.” In this moment, all is well.
10 years ago at 10:51 pmThe Texas Rangers say thank you for Cole Hamels.
10 years ago at 2:03 amHank Conger really has grown a lot since being the kicker for The Little Giants. So proud of him
10 years ago at 4:45 amConger’s one job on the Astros is after a home run to put his hat on backwards and dance. He is every fraternities dream token fat guy.
10 years ago at 6:30 amJose Altuve. TFM.
10 years ago at 8:42 amDon’t you mean “after the Texas Rangers clinched a playoff spot for them”?
10 years ago at 11:15 am