The Spring Break Analysis You Didn’t Know You Needed

WJ Cope7 years ago

Spring break is a yearly tradition as old as time itself, and it’s a yearly southward migration to rival those featured in such masterpieces as Planet Earth. The fine folks over at Project Know decided to gather some data to paint a bigger picture of the phenomenon, and they were even kind enough to arrange their results into beautiful infographics. Let’s put on our analytical hats and take a look at what they found.

From Project Know:

Although we assume many students are quite wholesome in their spring break activities, some places yielded a strikingly high percentage of posts about booze. In Fort Lauderdale, for instance, nearly 1 in 10 posts included a drinking-related word in their captions. Las Vegas was close behind, followed by New Orleans – where the infamous Bourbon Street has been said to smell vaguely of vomit from puking partiers.

“Nearly 1 in 10” still doesn’t even seem that high, but we mustn’t forget that a large percentage of the residents of Fort Lauderdale are just there to toast their leathery skin for a few more years before they die. I went there for spring break in 2013, and I found that spring breakers were mostly congregating in a few isolated pockets. As for Vegas, I doubt spring break influenced these results much at all. It’s usually still pretty chilly over there around this time of year, and an extra four hours of driving has you on the west coast.

Seaside, Florida, ranked fifth for the percentage of posts involving alcohol, took a drastic step to reverse the trend of young people drinking: Anyone under 21 must be accompanied by a parent on the beaches after 8 p.m.

Does it have to be your own parent? If not, this clears the way for some serious Milf-hunting.

The hotspots of New York, southern California, and Miami are represented here, and then you have North Dakota on the opposite end of the spectrum. This doesn’t mean that drinking isn’t taking place there; rather, the kind of drinking you do in North Dakota in March is not the kind you post about. Nobody wants to see a picture on their feed of some poor sap single-handedly finishing off a 24-pack of Grain Belt with their television in the background displaying an “Are you still watching Narcos?” message.

It’s no surprise that beer makes up a significant percentage of alcohol consumed during spring break, but I’m surprised that margs are only holding down a small fraction. I’d be really interested to see what percentage of drinks were well or bottom shelf, and my guess is greater than 80. When you’re drinking around the clock, you’ve got to make your dollars go far.

We end things with a wise message:

Our findings reveal the scale and intensity of spring break partying, both in American vacation hot spots and destinations around the globe. But our data also indicate a wide range of options for those seeking alternatives to drunken days at the beach. Whether you pursue the party or another experience, think critically about safety during your spring break travels. By making responsible choices, you can avert disaster in a distant place and return to school rested and restored.

I sure as hell don’t want to be the one to put a damper on spring break fun, but these guys are right. Spring break is going to take a few chunks out of you, but don’t be the guy that ruins it for yourself and all your friends. Party responsibly out there..

[via Project Know]