The Dumbest Hazing Stories Of 2016

Rob Fox8 years ago

Hazing: it’s funny, harmless, and kind of useful… until it gets physically dangerous, or gross, or creepy and sexual. Making a pledge clean your room after you trashed it like a drunken, barfing tornado? There’s probably a lesson in there somewhere. Plus that kid gets free room service for the next three and a half years. This is the price he pays for it. But taking that same pledge and coating his balls in condiments? Ehhhh you might just be fulfilling your own as of yet fully discovered sexual desires. College is a time to experiment, sure. But on a willing participant. Not your butler/secretary/stress ball.

Here’s TFM’s top hazing stories of 2016.

University Of San Diego Alpha Phi, Delt And Fiji Allegedly Involved In Sexually Exploitative 3-Way Hazing

I would have loved to see this idea pitched to all three of these houses’ exec boards.

Video Surfaces Of Alleged Nebraska Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity Members Branding A Pledge’s Ass

The kid ended up not being a pledge, and the act was voluntary, but people still called the video troubling because it’s not really that fun to just admit you were wrong. It’s more fun to just keep acting outraged about shit that doesn’t affect you.

Beta Theta Pi At University Of Florida Put On Probation For Making Pledges Babysit Watermelon Named “Walter”

Classic.

Apparently this happened…

Sigma Pi at Hofstra put their pledges in dog cages, covered them in hot sauce (including their dicks and balls), and made them barf milk. And took videos and pictures of the whole fucking thing.

Dumbest kids on the planet. There are weddings that aren’t this well documented. And they threw a swastika in there for good measure. The only way this story could have more perfectly played into the media’s fraternity narrative is if these kids took somebody’s dad’s yacht to the Mediterranean to sink refugee boats on spring break.