The U.S. Army May Soon Add Hoverbikes To Its Arsenal
There are so many ways the United States military can make your day really, really bad. By “really, really bad,” I mean they can end you from a different hemisphere, without ever even needing to put on pants. We’re at the point where they’re just going all out to see what other cool death machines they can develop due to nothing more than boredom and a boner for futuristic looking shit.
They’re already testing out rail guns and insane laser technology, which makes me somewhat surprised that we haven’t already seen this technology come up before. Either way, it’s the kind of crap that earns us the double rockets from foreigners. We are now developing hoverbikes to take down terrorists. It’s one of those “because I can” weapons.
It’s beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Imagine the looks on some ISIS cave dweller’s face when a flock of American soldiers fly up to his mud pit on hovering bicycles. I may need to clean the screen after that thought. It’s not even that the hoverbikes are even intimidating or exceptionally deadly, it’s the simple thought process that America has undoubtedly grown bored of decimating terrorists in other ways and is seeking another creative way to rid the world of assholes. I love it.
What’s even cooler is that the pilot may not even be required to fly it himself.
From The Verge:
The DoD is interested in the technology for a few reasons. For one, it’s safe. The hoverbike’s rotors are guarded so they won’t tear into humans and other objects. It’s also a cheaper option than, say, a helicopter. And it’s more maneuverable in tight spaces, with options to operate it autonomously or with a human pilot.
No one knows how long these things will take to see any sort of action, but the wait is certainly worth the reward..
[via The Verge]
Image via YouTube
Remember that discussion we had on Sterling’s article (bring back the forums) about irresponsible government spending?
This Star Wars bullshit is why we have a problem.
10 years ago at 9:43 amNothing spent on the army is irrepressoble spenmding you liberal communist.
10 years ago at 9:46 amWould have been better spent on improving literacy rates apparently.
10 years ago at 10:14 amI wish the Army would test out new weapons on you, you worthless sack of dog shit.
10 years ago at 10:21 amSorry, but spending money on something out of a Star Wars nerd’s wet dream when it could have been used to buy MRAPs or to run a training rotation is wasteful spending. I would prefer a higher military budget with an elimination of agencies that will not do their jobs or those that are duplicated elsewhere (why, for example, do we need both the DEA and ATF? Both perform the same function and could be consolidated with the FBI.) Bottom line, if you’re on a limited budget, you don’t buy ridiculously expensive things with a limited capability. In other words, it’s why no fraternity buys Jameson whiskey at the same amount of Natty Light.
10 years ago at 12:40 pmHooked on phonics is still pretty affordable
10 years ago at 1:46 pmIt’s nice to see actual fiscal conservatives on here
10 years ago at 8:55 pmAny word on the Millennium Falcon yet?
10 years ago at 9:57 amI don’t know how you can see those hover bikes explode upon impact in Starwars and come up with this ingenious idea for our military to try.
10 years ago at 10:09 amBecause watching a marine chop a terrorist in half with a light saber off of a hover bike is probably every nerdy weapon designers wet dream
10 years ago at 10:50 amWe’d be an unstoppable force then
10 years ago at 11:29 amCould those avoid IEDs? I’m not sure how those work apparently.
10 years ago at 10:28 amMaybe pressure sensitive ones, but I imagine it would depend on the amount of thrust pushing against the ground?
10 years ago at 10:50 amSome IEDs such as land mines or pressure plate triggered ordnance probably. Ones that are remote detonated, triggered by movement, noise, ferrous metals, or other means could probably still do some damage.
10 years ago at 10:56 amCool. Thanks. Which there was a place we could discuss topics, some type of for*m where we could converse..
10 years ago at 11:03 amSshhh. They’ll hear you.
10 years ago at 12:57 pmCall me when Mattel comes out with their Hoverboard.
10 years ago at 10:45 amLet’s just hope we don’t have to go to war against an army of ewoks
10 years ago at 10:52 amFar out.
10 years ago at 11:01 amThe problem I see with this is weight. Either A) there will be the weight of a rider, gear and ballistic material to protect the rider or B) cameras with automated weapons and an up-armored body, which isn’t light. That’s no moon, it’s a space station.
10 years ago at 12:18 pm