The University Of Central Florida Is Putting A Fucking Beach Inside Its Football Stadium

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My alma mater, the University of Central Florida, just put every other school in the country on notice. While some of you nerds are focused on in-state recruiting battles and the approaching National Signing Day, UCF just casually dropped news that for the upcoming season their football stadium will have a motherfucking beach inside.

Suck on that, SEC. The 10,000 square foot artificial beach, dubbed the East Side Club, is said to be ready for the season opening kickoff September 5th, and will include a selection of refreshments, including beer and an assortment of frozen drinks, fifteen televisions, new sideline chairback seats, private restrooms, and enhanced WiFi connectivity.

For a measly $900, you can set up shop and watch the Knights play from this synthetic paradise all season long.

I’m sold.

Maybe I’m stroking my school off excessively here, but this is borderline genius. Suddenly the wifey wants to go to the game and you won’t have to worry about entertaining her throughout. She’ll go grab some frozen fruity cocktail and tan with her girlfriends in skimpy bikinis while you and your boys crush some brews and watch George O’Leary have a brain aneurism on the field. You get brownie points for taking the old lady out of the house and it’s a win-win all-around.

My non-existent donations are finally paying off.

[via UCF]

Image via Youtube

  1. Frattylightrebels

    Jack hammer I like you, but just because your team can’t recruit anyone above 3 stars, doesn’t make yall good because you’ll have a fake beach.

    11 years ago at 4:05 pm
  2. KimBro Slice

    Getting drunk for free at a real beach in just about any other city in Florida. TFM.

    11 years ago at 4:24 pm
  3. unkle

    “The University Of Detroit Is Putting A Fucking Unemployment Office Inside Its Football Stadium”

    11 years ago at 4:24 pm
  4. Fratt Stairs

    But it’s south Florida, the land of the spiky haired, tank and flat bill hat wearing geeds

    11 years ago at 4:38 pm
    1. FBR

      You have Down’s syndrome . It says the location of the university in the name of the university, you juco drop out.

      11 years ago at 4:55 pm
      1. Freedom_rings

        Tallahassee is Florida. Anywhere south of the panhandle is south Florida in my book. Everytime I floor my Tahoe I think of one day fishing over the reef that was once America’s penis.

        11 years ago at 10:58 pm
  5. UCFrat33

    Is this what my fucking tuition goes to? They should may be build more parking lots since you spend an average of 20 minutes looking for one.

    Also, what fraternity were you active in while at UCF Jack?

    11 years ago at 4:39 pm