The World’s First Penis Transplant Was A Success

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Forget protection, abstinence, and whatever other bullshit sex education courses advocate these days. Starting today, it is completely acceptable to shove your meat in places and things never before thought habitable. The consequences of such actions have become negligible thanks to a crew of South African doctors that just performed the world’s first successful penis transplant.

The nine-hour surgery occurred last December in Cape Town, South Africa, and doctors recently declared it a resounding success.

From BBC:

The team used some of the techniques that had been developed to perform the first face transplants in order to connect the tiny blood vessels and nerves.

The operation took place on 11 December last year. Three months later doctors say the recovery has been rapid.

Full sensation has not returned and doctors suggest this could take two years.

It is truly an incredible time to be alive. We literally just gave a man a new dick. The ultimate symbol of manhood has been restored. Better yet, doctors say the best part of owning a penis has returned to transplant patient.

However, the man is able to pass urine, have an erection, orgasm and ejaculate.

Jackpot.

Always remember, men, there is never a reason to tell her no. They can always just sew another on another one.

[via BBC]

Image via Niyazz/Shutterstock

  1. hottytoddy1

    “His penis had to be amputated after complications arose from a traditional circumcision.” -BBC

    That sucks. So bad.

    11 years ago at 2:42 pm
    1. ThatGreatDane

      It’s fine now though. Because of the complications of chopping is old member off I’m almost certain his new dick is longer. Problem fuckin solved.

      11 years ago at 3:02 pm
  2. Iceman101

    South Africa finally did something worth while. My question is why haven’t we done this already? I blame Obama.

    11 years ago at 2:44 pm
  3. Shut up Meg

    What the fuck happened to america being the innovative power? Would have to think we’d all be walking around og mudbone style if obama wasnt elected. Thanks obama.

    11 years ago at 3:40 pm
    1. Shut up Meg

      My apologies to the previous poster who had a similar comment, sorry i deemed your post shit and couldnt be fucked to read it. Go f yourself. Glad we got that cleared away, feel much better now.

      11 years ago at 5:30 pm
      1. Shut up Meg

        As i told my intramural coach, you can go fuck yourself you keep talent on the court

        11 years ago at 6:39 pm
      2. Balls McLongfrock

        Have you had your spring break yet? All these laps you’re taking may result in somewhat of a beach bod.

        11 years ago at 7:23 pm
      3. Shut up Meg

        Appreciate it guys, really. The body has been a cause of concern as of late. Never thought id find the support to better myself at tfm

        11 years ago at 10:01 pm
  4. Willma Dickfit

    With this transplant being successful, syphilis is now the new athletes foot.

    11 years ago at 3:41 pm
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      And where would said dick have come from? I’m assuming there wasn’t a living willing donor. So is this guy jerking a dead man’s penis? If so, then does it count as a zombie penis?

      So we got, homo, necro and fetish.

      11 years ago at 9:50 pm
  5. StanHalen_KZN

    Was the patient able to choose what size his new schlong is? Is there a penis menu to choose from? Many questions left to answer.

    Ps. I’m asking for a friend

    11 years ago at 3:50 pm
  6. Lord Fratquaad

    “If you don’t have a penis you are essentially dead, if you give a penis back you can bring them back to life.”

    I couldn’t help but laugh at this quote.

    11 years ago at 4:19 pm