The Worst People In Your College Classroom

Grill Master Flex6 years ago

Classes have been going on for a while now and you are back on your school grind, your life dragging on as you’re pursuing a worthless degree. Drowning in student loan debt and loathing yourself more and more each day. Seeing every passing minute as a cruel punishment that you wouldn’t wish on anybo… Woah, went off topic there. I’m fine. Anyway, you will always have the same type of intolerable people in your classroom and will always have to deal with their shit because you aren’t courageous enough to call them on their shit. Here they are.

The Know-It-All

I’m not going to sit here and knock somebody for being smart and willing to participate in class. Good for you. I’m speaking of the person who raises their hand with loads of arrogance, looking down on all those peasants who either don’t know the answer or don’t care to answer. Who looks back for anyone else who wants to answer (only to see nobody volunteering) and then turns around with the biggest of shit-eating grins, beckoning the teacher to call on them (which is ultimately what happens before they give the correct answer). You may see them shuttering, shifting, and even sometimes sweating after they’ve answered. For obvious reasons: orgasms.

People Who Only Show Up On Test Days To Take Your Seat

You are a third of the way through the semester and have been sitting in the same seat every single class. Here comes test day and you walk in to see 50% more people than usual and one particular shit stick — who you have never seen before — sitting his egg head right in your seat. They do not even know what they have done. How could they? They don’t come to class; they don’t know any better. You almost empathize with them, then you remember they plopped their dumb ass in your seat. Yeah, it may not be an assigned seat situation, but you have been sitting there for a month and a half. You know where every piece of gum is on the bottom of that desk. You even put a piece there to play with when you’re nervous and you know it’s not weird because it is your piece of gum. And now it is theirs. Until next class, “my” desk. I hope you fail, you jabroni.

The Two Friends Who Think Everything The Other Says Is Hilarious

This may not be as obvious, but if you are unlucky enough to be sitting next to these two, I offer my condolences. They’re whispering, but not really; more like quietly talking but it’s still loud enough to where you can’t hear the professor. Not only are they continuously quietly talking, but they think every single thing said by the other is so fucking funny. As they try and fail to muffle their laughter, your blood boils by the second. You want to move your seat but don’t want to be the asshole who steals seats. It’s a big-time moral dilemma. Best of luck.

The Drunk/Hungover Person Recounting Their Night

“Bro I was so fucked up last night, I did some crazy shit! *insert average shit here*”

Grow up, dude; act your age, not your shoe size. Unless your story is good — which it never is — shut the fuck up. You had a drunk night that sounds like your average drunk night that everybody has. We get it dude: you drink. Now shut up because you smell like cheap cologne and even cheaper liquor.

The Person Blasting Music In Their Headphones

This is by far the worst person in any class. They show up just as class starts and walk in blasting music through their headphones at an unreasonably loud volume. It is definitely not enjoyable for them to have music blasting in their ears so loud that I can hear every beat of the baseline; no clue how or why they do it.

But it doesn’t end there! Sometimes these fuckheads will continue to play their music during class, keeping it at the same volume. These dickheads even have the audacity to be pissed off when the professor tells them to take their headphones out. Are you serious? Sit on your thumb and fuck yourself, because you’re an asshole.

Let us be better, people..