There’s An Impending Whiskey Shortage, And It’s Serious
I’ve never been one of those “doom and gloom” types, but even this scared the shit out of me. We’re on the verge of a real crisis here, guys. There’s going to be a shortage of whiskey, and it could be more serious than you think.
Over the past 10 years, whiskey of all varieties has gained exponential popularity. What was once a niche drink has now become one of the most popular beverages to order at the bar or to have in the liquor cabinet. Why not? Whiskeys are, and always have been, my liquor of choice; just as they’re my favorite spirit to sip on, they’re quickly becoming everyone’s favorite.
Now, I’m no economist, but it seems to me that we have a simple case of supply and demand here. Distilleries can only put out so much whiskey. Even though they have tried to increase their output to match the ever rising demand for their products, the good folks who make the stuff we love just can’t keep up. As a result, prices have gone up–especially for the good stuff.
Industry insiders say that many of the bigger companies out there are going to try to step up production, but who knows how that’ll turn out. My advice to you, first and foremost, is to start drinking heavily. Sorry, just had to get that out there. But seriously, you need to start stocking up.
While some might say you should try newer, younger whiskey, I say fuck that. Leave that garbage to those who are too foolish to take my advice. Start hoarding and start hoarding now. You don’t want to be left high and dry–there’s no reason why you can’t start your own personal stockpile. Sure, it’ll cost you some money, but I guarantee it’ll pay off in the long run. Besides, it sure as hell beats drinking vodka.
Remember, people: failing to prepare is preparing to fail.
[via Esquire]
‘Oh no. How are we ever supposed to get drunk off of cheap alcohol when there’s a possible future whiskey shortage!?!?’
11 years ago at 10:38 am– No college student ever
spoken like someone who drinks vodka from plastic bottles
11 years ago at 10:47 am“What are you, a girl or something?” – Ethan Tremblay
11 years ago at 11:08 amI left class and am on my way to the store now
11 years ago at 10:51 amGood thing my drink of choice, scotch, is still a fairly niche beverage.
11 years ago at 11:02 amWow, you’re frat
11 years ago at 11:10 amI didn’t say it to be frat. Most people don’t drink scotch, and I’m glad. Because I don’t want to have to pay more for it.
11 years ago at 4:51 amNooooooooo noooooooo
Fuck it, buying Whiskey on the Black market if that ever happens. There’s always NF Craigslist
11 years ago at 11:02 amThanks Obama.
11 years ago at 11:04 amI’ll start making moonshine before I drink something out of a plastic bottle. It’s called self-respect.
11 years ago at 11:09 amSinglr Barrell Jack was just purchased in bulk…. Some Old Crow too, just cause.
11 years ago at 11:13 amSingle* fuck iPhones
11 years ago at 11:13 amAt least there’s always blow
11 years ago at 11:17 amSilver linings, you guys..
11 years ago at 12:02 pmMore white than silver, I’d expect..
11 years ago at 2:14 pmmay god have mercy on all of us
11 years ago at 11:30 amFuck you suntory & Asia.
11 years ago at 11:36 amNow that GS Elevator has been exposed as a fraud you should probably make a new account with a different name
11 years ago at 3:16 pmA fraud? You clearly haven’t looked into or followed the story of John Lefevre since his identity was made public weeks ago. He actually was a hot shot on wall street in the past and most of what he tweeted was actually true. Most notably; tweeting about crashing a Maserati that he purchased 5 days earlier, being too drunk to drive it home from the dealership. (Is that ‘TFM’ enough for your approval wearbowsdrinkwhiskey?) And in regards to the ‘Not Goldman, NF.’ sentiment which you most likely possess, the account was never about impersonating a specific GS associate or their firm. In John’s words, “GSElevator has never been an anonymous person. It’s not a person at all. It’s the embodiment or aggregation of “every banker,” a concentrated reflection of a Wall Street culture and mentality” and, “it’s never been specifically about Goldman Sachs; it’s about illuminating Wall Street culture in a fun and entertaining way.” In closing, I’ll once again quote John simply because it doesn’t need to be rephrased, “Being called a “fake” or a “hoax” by the same people who embraced me as “satire” is simply laughable.” I think I’ll keep the account and the name, commenting GS Elevator quips where they’re applicable. A word of advice, since ‘wearbowsdrinkwhiskey’ is try-hard as ever, you should probably make a new account with a different name.
11 years ago at 4:17 pm