Theta Chi Member Claims Title Of “Certified Party God And All-American Badass” Via Business Card
“Hey there, I was hoping to get some more information about your chapter. Really looking forward to rushing next semester Can’t you point me in the direction of your Rush Chair?”
“Oh, you need to talk to Jake then.”
“Is Jake the Rush Chair?”
“No way, bro. He’s our Certified Party God and All-American Badass. He’ll take care of you.”
This Snapchat screenshot was sent to me by an anonymous tipster. He claims the Theta Chi chapter is from the University of Alabama at Birmingham, although it’s unconfirmed.
I can’t imagine the burden of carrying around a title like that. As the Certified Party God and All-American Badass, self-proclaimed or not, you are essentially never allowed to take a minute off from the party life. If your boys are drinking, you have to drink. A couple buds ask you to skip class to get drunk and float the river? You have no choice–you’re going. You walk by a group of stoners on campus that are passing around a spliff and extend it to you for a hit? Guess what, asshole? You’re getting high as fuck. You have to. You even pass that burden around at parties to make everyone around aware of your situation.
Any time the CPGAAB turns down an offering of the sort, his title should be stripped, his cards burned, and public shame brought upon him.
Sweet PC….
11 years ago at 2:14 pmYahoo, the official email of my grandma.
11 years ago at 2:16 pmWow this kid sucks at life.
11 years ago at 2:21 pmHi Jake, you dumb fuck.
11 years ago at 2:25 pm^^
11 years ago at 2:32 pmHey, 2002 called, it wants its yahoo email address back.
11 years ago at 2:41 pmSomeone wasn’t hazed enough
11 years ago at 2:54 pmTook 2 minutes to find this kid on facebook.. Not what I would think a Certified Party God would look like.
11 years ago at 2:56 pmWonder if he still thinks he is a bad ass if he fought in Kandahar Afganastan.
11 years ago at 3:27 pmScreenshoting snapchat. TpussycreepM.
11 years ago at 4:48 pm