This is the Worst Thing You’ll Ever Find in a Shoebox

Rob Fox12 years ago

Worse even than checkered Vans. Apparently there’s one sick, twisted Reddit user out there who has been using a shoebox, for “two or three years,” as his own personal cum dumpster. Yeah, that’s right. Dude’s been jizzing in the same shoebox for THREE YEARS. Here’s his explanation:

Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn’t manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That’s pretty much it.

…

A lot of people are asking me, why? Well, I’m apparently a rather disturbed individual. But, it just kind of happened, bought new shoes and needed someplace to cum, used the box. It just escalated from there, kept using it each time, telling myself I would throw it out soon. Never did, two or three years later, I still have it. It was planned or anything, it just happened.

I don’t ever want to know what a burning box of jizz smells like. I wouldn’t wish that on the world’s worst pledge. In case you’re wondering what it looks like, here are some pictures. Fair warning though, you cannot unsee this horror. It will be burned into your brain forever. It will probably be one of the last things that flashes before your eyes before you die. Without further ado, the jizz box:

[story via Uproxx images via imgur]