This Ranking Of The Most Patriotic States In America Is…Interesting

The World Cup may be over, but America still has an Independence Day to celebrate, which means we have one more day to unite under the Stars and Stripes before we all go back to calling each other gay, hipster, atheist, child murder advocates and fundamentalist, woman hating, child murder advocates. At least the one thing we can all agree upon is that kids should die, now if only we could decide whether it should be by guns or abortions.

But hey, screw it, let’s start arguing now, specifically over who loves America the most. That seems productive.

Movoto Real Estate collected data from all 50 states and came away with a ranking of what they believe to be the most patriotic states in the country. Here’s the map and the list:

patriotic-states

table

Sort of a weird ranking, considering most of their top 10 states tried to, this one time, you know, leave the United States forever. That isn’t to say a lot can’t change in 150 years, it’s just a bit ironic that South Carolina, the first state to secede, arguably the most enthusiastic state about secession, and the state that fired the first shots against their countrymen, is somehow the most patriotic state in the Union. Is this the largest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever recorded? Is South Carolina the Rihanna to America’s Chris Brown? You could ask those same questions about the entire southeast in general, actually.

That’s all (mostly) in jest, of course. Southerners are about as patriotic as they come here in the states, even if a lot of them own two very conflicting flags. Regardless, I love them for it.

While the south being the most patriotic might be ironic, it certainly isn’t a surprise. Neither is seeing California come in dead last at number 50. As much as the rest of the country likes to give Texas crap for considering itself its own country, there is no other state that gives less of a fuck about the rest of the USA than California, and it’s not even close, really. Texans — mostly native Texans — love to talk about how great Texas is. Californians — especially transplants to California — have full on verbal circle jerks about where they live.

The rest of the results are kind of random. Maine, for example, is second. Sure? It doesn’t seem wrong, so whatever. Also, it looks like Movoto confused Missouri, Michigan, and Mississippi and switched their rankings. Missouri is at 20, Michigan at 45, and Mississippi at 36.

Agree? Disagree? Wanna fight about it?

[via Movoto]

  1. Robert Goulet

    Measuring patriotism is about as useful as trying to chain freedom. Can’t be done.

    10 years ago at 12:33 pm
  2. AButtChuggingPike

    Calling the World Cup over because the US was eliminated, even though there are 8 teams remaining. TFM

    10 years ago at 12:33 pm
  3. gamefrock

    Hey guys look! We’re at the top of the list and it doesn’t have anything to do with disease or domestic violence!!!!! Polish up those beatin’ belts boys we’re headed for the top!!!

    10 years ago at 12:40 pm
  4. cleavage

    I am from/ live in California and I assure you that I am trying to make up for the generally shitty population but it’s an uphill battle.

    10 years ago at 12:42 pm
    1. TBronePickens

      California being blue in the elections and in regards to loving America. NF.

      10 years ago at 2:27 pm
    1. Kappa Significant

      Don’t you go bringing rabbits into this man, they haven’t done shit.

      10 years ago at 3:13 pm
  5. paulewing3

    Going to school at UMaine and coming from Massachusetts all I can say is Maine is filled with red necks that have nothing better to do then celebrate the only thing they have (being a part of the greatest country)

    10 years ago at 1:06 pm