This Ranking Of The Most Patriotic States In America Is…Interesting

The World Cup may be over, but America still has an Independence Day to celebrate, which means we have one more day to unite under the Stars and Stripes before we all go back to calling each other gay, hipster, atheist, child murder advocates and fundamentalist, woman hating, child murder advocates. At least the one thing we can all agree upon is that kids should die, now if only we could decide whether it should be by guns or abortions.

But hey, screw it, let’s start arguing now, specifically over who loves America the most. That seems productive.

Movoto Real Estate collected data from all 50 states and came away with a ranking of what they believe to be the most patriotic states in the country. Here’s the map and the list:

patriotic-states

table

Sort of a weird ranking, considering most of their top 10 states tried to, this one time, you know, leave the United States forever. That isn’t to say a lot can’t change in 150 years, it’s just a bit ironic that South Carolina, the first state to secede, arguably the most enthusiastic state about secession, and the state that fired the first shots against their countrymen, is somehow the most patriotic state in the Union. Is this the largest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever recorded? Is South Carolina the Rihanna to America’s Chris Brown? You could ask those same questions about the entire southeast in general, actually.

That’s all (mostly) in jest, of course. Southerners are about as patriotic as they come here in the states, even if a lot of them own two very conflicting flags. Regardless, I love them for it.

While the south being the most patriotic might be ironic, it certainly isn’t a surprise. Neither is seeing California come in dead last at number 50. As much as the rest of the country likes to give Texas crap for considering itself its own country, there is no other state that gives less of a fuck about the rest of the USA than California, and it’s not even close, really. Texans — mostly native Texans — love to talk about how great Texas is. Californians — especially transplants to California — have full on verbal circle jerks about where they live.

The rest of the results are kind of random. Maine, for example, is second. Sure? It doesn’t seem wrong, so whatever. Also, it looks like Movoto confused Missouri, Michigan, and Mississippi and switched their rankings. Missouri is at 20, Michigan at 45, and Mississippi at 36.

Agree? Disagree? Wanna fight about it?

[via Movoto]

  1. Proud SEC Greek

    The only valid use for the liberal shit hole that is the West Coast is to conceive dimes that will ultimately rush sororities in the South and thus provide us with even more beautiful women to get drunk with.

    10 years ago at 2:49 pm
  2. BoatsAndBooze

    Fuck you Bacon, those flags aren’t conflicting. The stars and bars represents states rights more than anything else and the traditional South.

    10 years ago at 7:12 pm
  3. StarShieldandLamp

    How the fuck does Alaska win “Historical Landmark Rank”. Pennsylvania is home to the birth of the Declaration of Independence, Betsy Ross sowed the first American Flag (allegedly) in her home on Arch St. in Philadelphia, and oh wait it’s home to the god damn LIBERTY BELL. No contest, Pennsylvania got shafted on this.

    10 years ago at 7:58 am
  4. Swampfoxfrat

    Proud to be from South Carolina thank God we are finally first for something other than domestic violence, but go ahead and break out the belt since it helps us love america so much unlike those liberal hippies in california

    10 years ago at 10:04 am