THROWBACK THURSDAY: 2013 Wife Mock Draft

Allison Bonnett

draft

School: Clemson
House: Top-tier nationally
Major: Marketing
GPA: 4.0
Hair color: Light brown
Height: 5-10
Weight: 125 lbs

Pros:

-Former Miss South Carolina.
-Favorite artists are Phil Collins, Hall & Oates, Frank Sinatra and Billy Joel.
-Could have graduated in three and a half years, but changed her major to marketing to stay on for five years. Real team-first attitude.
-Her family invested in Berkshire-Hathaway in the 60’s and none of them have worked a day in their life since. Slated to come into a large inheritance upon graduation.
-Lingerie enthusiast.
-Never dated during college.
-Already owns and operates a marketing firm that she plans on selling this summer. Company has been valued at two million dollars.

Cons:

-Has bad breath in the morning.

Projected: #1 overall

Outlook: Everyone has been drooling over her since her freshman year. She’s the real deal. #1 recruit in the country out of high school, Academic All-American, Rhodes Scholar, beauty queen, self-made millionaire, disease-free. No doubt she’s the centerpiece everyone dreams about.

Note: All photos used are from the TFM photos section and not representative of the fictional characters listed.

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    1. TheChampionsTour

      This is the original. Take a lap and when you’re done with that, go to Chipotle and get me a chicken burrito. No fucking beans.

      12 years ago at 3:52 pm
    1. fratteo

      It’s a THROWBACK THURSDAY column. Clearly was not written after Cunt Punt went viral.

      12 years ago at 7:12 pm