THROWBACK THURSDAY: 2013 Wife Mock Draft
Allison Bonnett
School: Clemson
House: Top-tier nationally
Major: Marketing
GPA: 4.0
Hair color: Light brown
Height: 5-10
Weight: 125 lbs
Pros:
-Former Miss South Carolina.
-Favorite artists are Phil Collins, Hall & Oates, Frank Sinatra and Billy Joel.
-Could have graduated in three and a half years, but changed her major to marketing to stay on for five years. Real team-first attitude.
-Her family invested in Berkshire-Hathaway in the 60’s and none of them have worked a day in their life since. Slated to come into a large inheritance upon graduation.
-Lingerie enthusiast.
-Never dated during college.
-Already owns and operates a marketing firm that she plans on selling this summer. Company has been valued at two million dollars.
Cons:
-Has bad breath in the morning.
Projected: #1 overall
Outlook: Everyone has been drooling over her since her freshman year. She’s the real deal. #1 recruit in the country out of high school, Academic All-American, Rhodes Scholar, beauty queen, self-made millionaire, disease-free. No doubt she’s the centerpiece everyone dreams about.
Note: All photos used are from the TFM photos section and not representative of the fictional characters listed.
Again with this shit.
12 years ago at 3:49 pmThis is the original. Take a lap and when you’re done with that, go to Chipotle and get me a chicken burrito. No fucking beans.
12 years ago at 3:52 pm^Fucking this
12 years ago at 4:00 pmFuck it im drunk
12 years ago at 4:11 pm^ excuses. NF
12 years ago at 6:03 pmI liked this?
12 years ago at 3:53 pmSince when is “daddy issues” a con?
12 years ago at 3:54 pmThis is the wife mock draft, not slampiece mock draft.
12 years ago at 4:02 pm^
12 years ago at 4:12 pmI agree, I don’t know about some of these cons. #9 is just too good to pass up
12 years ago at 9:47 pmCunt Punter would win hands down.
12 years ago at 3:58 pmThree fishy smelling things in the 10th picture.
12 years ago at 4:01 pmWhere is Rebecca Martinson?
12 years ago at 4:17 pmFirst. Fucking. Pick.
12 years ago at 12:26 pmThis^^
12 years ago at 2:12 pmI’d like to trade up for Weinberg
12 years ago at 4:31 pmI’ll take Hannah Weinberg.
12 years ago at 4:41 pmImmediately looked for cunt punt girl. Came back disappointed.
12 years ago at 6:02 pmIt’s a THROWBACK THURSDAY column. Clearly was not written after Cunt Punt went viral.
12 years ago at 7:12 pmThere is no such thing as a “cocaine problem”
12 years ago at 9:37 pmThere is if your Whitney Houston
12 years ago at 12:00 pm^Let’s just say her “genetics” didn’t favor her
12 years ago at 3:10 pm^
12 years ago at 9:35 am