THROWBACK THURSDAY: 2013 Wife Mock Draft
Jenny Watson
School: University of Kansas
House: Top-tier hotties
Major: General Studies
GPA: 3.0
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5-6
Weight: 140 lbs.
Pros:
-Comes from one of the richest families in the Midwest.
-No brothers.
-Family well connected in the Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City business communities.
-Huge boobs.
Cons:
-Gained about 20 pounds since she was a freshman.
-Verified psycho and mother hen.
-Gets attached very early.
-Spent a total of three separate semesters on social probation.
-Difficult to control. Sloppy drunk, causes scenes regularly. Doesn’t understand the concept of space early on in a relationship.
-Will pretty much have sex with anyone who has a bottle of vodka in their freezer and condoms.
Projected: Late 7th round/Undrafted free agent
Outlook: Once regarded as “can’t miss”, she’s really let herself go since being one of the most highly sought-after freshman five years ago. High-risk, low-reward kind of girl. Would be a nice tryout candidate during the summer, but don’t expect much. Can see someone desperate enough taking a chance on her, though. Jamarcus Russell-type risk here.
Again with this shit.
12 years ago at 3:49 pmThis is the original. Take a lap and when you’re done with that, go to Chipotle and get me a chicken burrito. No fucking beans.
12 years ago at 3:52 pm^Fucking this
12 years ago at 4:00 pmFuck it im drunk
12 years ago at 4:11 pm^ excuses. NF
12 years ago at 6:03 pmI liked this?
12 years ago at 3:53 pmSince when is “daddy issues” a con?
12 years ago at 3:54 pmThis is the wife mock draft, not slampiece mock draft.
12 years ago at 4:02 pm^
12 years ago at 4:12 pmI agree, I don’t know about some of these cons. #9 is just too good to pass up
12 years ago at 9:47 pmCunt Punter would win hands down.
12 years ago at 3:58 pmThree fishy smelling things in the 10th picture.
12 years ago at 4:01 pmWhere is Rebecca Martinson?
12 years ago at 4:17 pmFirst. Fucking. Pick.
12 years ago at 12:26 pmThis^^
12 years ago at 2:12 pmI’d like to trade up for Weinberg
12 years ago at 4:31 pmI’ll take Hannah Weinberg.
12 years ago at 4:41 pmImmediately looked for cunt punt girl. Came back disappointed.
12 years ago at 6:02 pmIt’s a THROWBACK THURSDAY column. Clearly was not written after Cunt Punt went viral.
12 years ago at 7:12 pmThere is no such thing as a “cocaine problem”
12 years ago at 9:37 pmThere is if your Whitney Houston
12 years ago at 12:00 pm^Let’s just say her “genetics” didn’t favor her
12 years ago at 3:10 pm^
12 years ago at 9:35 am