THROWBACK THURSDAY: 2013 Wife Mock Draft
Eileen Benedict
School: University of Arizona
House: Bottom-tier
Major: Advertising
GPA: 3.3
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5-7
Weight: 125 lbs.
Pros:
-Somehow slipped through the cracks during recruitment as a sophomore transfer from community college. Diamond in the rough.
-Not exactly smart, but a dedicated student.
-Ugly duckling syndrome. Not exactly aware of how good she really is.
-Talent really came out of nowhere. Started taking care of herself two years ago and the results are evident.
-Everyone has seemingly written her off. Demand is low.
Cons:
-Boyfriend of six months recently broke up with her for what he called “stink puss”. Awaiting confirmation.
-Mom is pushing 200 lbs.
-Heavily involved with PETA.
-Does not own a car.
-Massive credit card debt.
Projection: Early 4th round
Outlook: All the tools are there. Can really only go up from where she’s been, but career longevity is an issue with her, as there are some genetic issues to worry about. Worth a long look, though.
Again with this shit.
12 years ago at 3:49 pmThis is the original. Take a lap and when you’re done with that, go to Chipotle and get me a chicken burrito. No fucking beans.
12 years ago at 3:52 pm^Fucking this
12 years ago at 4:00 pmFuck it im drunk
12 years ago at 4:11 pm^ excuses. NF
12 years ago at 6:03 pmI liked this?
12 years ago at 3:53 pmSince when is “daddy issues” a con?
12 years ago at 3:54 pmThis is the wife mock draft, not slampiece mock draft.
12 years ago at 4:02 pm^
12 years ago at 4:12 pmI agree, I don’t know about some of these cons. #9 is just too good to pass up
12 years ago at 9:47 pmCunt Punter would win hands down.
12 years ago at 3:58 pmThree fishy smelling things in the 10th picture.
12 years ago at 4:01 pmWhere is Rebecca Martinson?
12 years ago at 4:17 pmFirst. Fucking. Pick.
12 years ago at 12:26 pmThis^^
12 years ago at 2:12 pmI’d like to trade up for Weinberg
12 years ago at 4:31 pmI’ll take Hannah Weinberg.
12 years ago at 4:41 pmImmediately looked for cunt punt girl. Came back disappointed.
12 years ago at 6:02 pmIt’s a THROWBACK THURSDAY column. Clearly was not written after Cunt Punt went viral.
12 years ago at 7:12 pmThere is no such thing as a “cocaine problem”
12 years ago at 9:37 pmThere is if your Whitney Houston
12 years ago at 12:00 pm^Let’s just say her “genetics” didn’t favor her
12 years ago at 3:10 pm^
12 years ago at 9:35 am