Throwback Thursday: Classic Football Coach Rants

Blackball Bill13 years ago

Over the years there have been many classic football coach rants, and recently Coastal Carolina Coach David Bennett and his ridiculous mustache added a story about a “kitty cat” during a presser that will be remembered forever.

“We don’t need no meows, we don’t need more cats. We need more dogs.”

Oklahoma State’s Mike Gundy had an unforgettable outburst defending his players from media scrutiny. He exploded after a newspaper article attacked one of his kids, and unfortunately experienced one of those moments of extreme anger where you think you are making sense, but later realize you have no idea what you said. His speech is passionate and filled with several nonsensical quotes.

“Comer after me! I’m a man! I’m 40!”

Arizona Cardinals Coach Dennis Green had an outburst for the ages after blowing a 23-3 lead to the Chicago Bears in the 4th quarter. His diabetes quickly flared up and he stormed away from the podium.

“The bears are who we thought they were! And that’s why we took the damn field!”

Back in 2002, Jets Coach Herm Edwards finally cleared up the question people have been asking since the beginning of time: “Why do you play the game?” Apparently you play to win. Before this speech, the classically sarcastic use of the phrases “Hello?” and “Duh?” were thought to only be used by high school girls chewing gum.

“You play to win the game! Hello?”

You can’t have a column filled with classic football coach rants and not include Colts Coach Jim Mora’s disgust when a reporter asked about his shit-ass team making the playoffs.

“Playoffs?! Don’t talk about, playoffs?! You kiddin’ me?”