Throwback Thursday: It’s Opening Day, “Now Watch This Drive”
14 years ago

“We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations, to do everything they can, to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”

Let us reflect on a time when the President of the United States knew how to enjoy a round of golf without looking like a fucking GDI. It’s common knowledge that W wasn’t the most eloquent Commander in Chief, but moments like this are what made him so great. Look at that fucking stroke. He didn’t care that whiny libs were going to lose their shit when they saw him enjoying 18-holes while simultaneously calling for all nations to rise up against terrorism. Maybe it wasn’t the most politically correct time for such a discussion, but fuck all that noise. Bush was TFTC. He wasn’t interested in political intricacies; he was interested in results.

On this, the Opening Day of the 2011 Major League Baseball season, it’s only right that we also acknowledge W’s ability to find the strike zone. He brought the heat during his ceremonial first pitch at Yankee stadium, causing the crowd to erupt with chants of “U-S-A! U-S-A!” Obama brought shame to our national pastime when he threw out his first pitch, looking like a confused jackass wearing a White Sox hat with a Nationals jacket. If you’d told me he was right handed, and had been forced to throw lefty due to injury, I would’ve believed you. That’s how bad he was. Obama might have a jump shot, but he shouldn’t be allowed on the diamond.

Just so our current President doesn’t feel too awful about his inability to throw a baseball like a heterosexual American male, here are 10 of the worst ceremonial first pitches of all time:

  2. Floseidon

    Obama has already played more golf in his presidency than Bush did in his first four years. All that government spending on non-member greens fees (Clubs don’t let in geeds) still can’t buy a decent swing.

    14 years ago at 10:33 am
    1. fratitat

      Actually I saw Obama this summer on the Vineyard Golf Club several times and that course is no public playground.

      I would have teed off into his face if he wasn’t surrounded by 50 secret service agents and three suburbans.

      14 years ago at 10:53 am
    4. brosa parks

      Obama was at MV for a over a month this summer. To top seeing my least favorite american at one of my favorite childhood vacation spots i had to wait in his traffic everywhere.

      14 years ago at 8:26 pm
  4. PKPfratstar

    The T-Rex definitely threw better than Obama. Why Obama isn’t on there is a mystery to me. Despite the fact I don’t watch baseball it is America’s pastime and our leader should be able to throw a baseball.

    14 years ago at 11:20 am
  6. 1871

    no matter how much i hate his policies, disrespecting our President is disrespecting our country.

    fuck off you unpatriotic GDI pissants.

    14 years ago at 11:29 am
    1. PG Fratting

      Yeah, you’re right! We should unconditionally respect our country’s leader no matter what, just like the Germans respected Hitler.

      14 years ago at 11:53 am
    4. jarredaekdb

      1871, you are a disgrace to your fraternity, if you are in fact even in one.

      Taking it in the ass for Obama. NF. Not having to defend Bush. FaF.

      14 years ago at 1:41 pm
    6. TexasFaF

      Making fun of obama because he throws like shawn johnson is unpatriotic? How the fuck did you find this site?

      14 years ago at 7:50 pm
    7. Ted Broosevelt

      Patriotism is loving your country no matter what, and your government when it deserves it. Obama doesn’t deserve shit.

      14 years ago at 1:11 am
    8. brosa parks

      TEd Broosavelt if you dont hate obama by this point of his presidency you were definitively talking a lot of shit about bush during his term

      14 years ago at 8:57 am
    9. mtfrats

      He may deserve respect, but that doesn’t change the truth. Which is that he is a GDI pussy that can’t throw a ball or swing a club.

      14 years ago at 1:39 pm
    10. 1871

      the majority of americans (the best fucking people on God’s green earth) voted obama into office, if you dont like that you fucks can leave this country.

      obama wasnt the one who instigated a reasonless war that has bankrupted our economy and costed thousands of american lives, he also wasnt the one who was responsible for the worst recession to hit our economy since the great depression (which need i remind you uneducated hick-ass mofos was also started by a republican president).

      14 years ago at 1:42 pm
    11. Amurika

      the housing bubble was a result of the explosion of the dot com bubble in the 90’s when Clinton was president. blaming more than a small portion of the responsibility on bush shows economic ignorance

      14 years ago at 10:26 pm
    1. Brother Breaux

      Exactly, fucking liberals find any reason too bitch. Damn hypocrites saying Bush never worked. Thats just golf. No telling how much basketball obama plays. Worthless.

      14 years ago at 1:15 pm
  8. old line state

    the video of the worst pitches was hilarious. the fucking T-Rex had me dying. what i don’t get is the lack of ability in throwing a baseball amongst the male members of that video. where were these peoples fathers as children?

    14 years ago at 12:53 pm
    1. fratmospereicle

      yea i about shit when the t-rex popped up on the screen. Liberals dont have parents.

      14 years ago at 2:54 pm
  9. Fratucky

    Seeing that picture plus that video of Obama throwing the first pitch makes me hate that fucking geed even more. But when I watched the video of Bush again it gave me chills hearing those chants and made me damn proud to be an American.

    14 years ago at 12:56 pm