Top 5 TFM TV Characters: Part 1
14 years ago

TEXAS—Today we analyze and discuss the top five current television characters that embody everything that TFM stands for. They may be fictional. Some may not be Greek. Hell, some may no longer be on the air, but they are all Frat as Fuck. In no particular order, here are the five frattiest men of television.

1. Carter Pewterschmidt—Family Guy

Peter Griffin’s father-in-law and owner of U.S. Steel; he is an old money conservative with an estimated wealth of over $7 billion. He is a member of the Skull and Bones, and plays poker with the likes of Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and Ted Turner (whom he despises). He employs illegal immigrant laborers to maintain the landscaping of his frat castle, and believes homosexuals should be deprived the right to vote. He dislikes his daughter’s middle-class husband to such an extent that he offered him a $1,000,000 check to never speak to her again. He is a war veteran, has an addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol, and believes the secret to happiness is money.

“You can have five dollars, if you pick it up from this jar with barbed wires and salt.” – Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes France:

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes Peter:

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    3. Hazing in the cold

      The guy in the $4000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn’t make that in three months! COME ON

      14 years ago at 8:21 pm
    1. Southern Proper Lady

      Seconded. Don Draper is so much more frat than Jack Donaghy. I feel like Roger Sterling needs to be added to this list too.

      14 years ago at 11:56 am
    8. fraternizing with the bronemy

      dude if “people of a certain affiliation and creed” of the Ari persuasion aren’t frat than you just pretty much said that wall street and half of Linklater and other top tier firms aren’t frat than what the hell? lawyers, CPAs, assholes…Ari is frat. i put Stans uncle on there because you have to have an an avid hunter to round things out..

      14 years ago at 3:06 pm
    3. Fratster

      “I went to Cornell…ever heard of it? Never studied once, was drunk the whole time” FaF

      14 years ago at 12:55 pm
    4. Fratabama

      He’s in a fuckin barber shop quartet, can’t pull ass from anyone he dates, sings his own ringtones, drives a prius and works as a lowly salesman with the worst numbers of anyone in the office at a middle (at best) sized paper company.

      Other than that, FaF!

      14 years ago at 3:26 pm
    5. Fratting in Texas

      He said in one episode that he would have to “sneak into frat parties and polish off empties that we’re lying around”. You know who would have to sneak into a frat party? A GDI.

      14 years ago at 4:38 pm
  9. mountain Frat Wear

    Kenny is the man. He is TFTC about his clothing. Other than that, he is a fucking legend on so many levels. He rages like no other and doesn’t take shit off anyone. He is from the South and Christian too which is even more frat. “Hey Dustin, how about you stay the fuck out of my eBay business and you stick at what you’re good at, being poor.” Kenny Fucking Powers FaF in my book.

    14 years ago at 11:56 am
    1. fivenine

      his dad is Don mother fuckin’ Johnson, he stole a Diablo from the Churros owner and pretty much shit on all of Mexico.

      FaF.

      14 years ago at 5:06 pm
  11. John Wayne

    I’m glad not to see any of those losers from entourage on here, pack of GDI’s.

    14 years ago at 12:04 pm