Top 5 TFM TV Characters: Part 1
14 years ago

TEXAS—Today we analyze and discuss the top five current television characters that embody everything that TFM stands for. They may be fictional. Some may not be Greek. Hell, some may no longer be on the air, but they are all Frat as Fuck. In no particular order, here are the five frattiest men of television.

1. Carter Pewterschmidt—Family Guy

Peter Griffin’s father-in-law and owner of U.S. Steel; he is an old money conservative with an estimated wealth of over $7 billion. He is a member of the Skull and Bones, and plays poker with the likes of Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and Ted Turner (whom he despises). He employs illegal immigrant laborers to maintain the landscaping of his frat castle, and believes homosexuals should be deprived the right to vote. He dislikes his daughter’s middle-class husband to such an extent that he offered him a $1,000,000 check to never speak to her again. He is a war veteran, has an addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol, and believes the secret to happiness is money.

“You can have five dollars, if you pick it up from this jar with barbed wires and salt.” – Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes France:

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes Peter:

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
  3. Sperrys aren't frat

    I know this is for television but if there was one character I would consider not dropping a black ball and telling him I never wanna see his pathetic face again it would for sure be the kid from blank check. Think about it .exploits the gdi for hitting him in his slue y ass car by fucking his life over with a million dollar check, buys his own frat castle telling his parents to fuck off ..hazes his brother and other cheese dicks and some how gets a little action from a great slam piece that’s like 20 years older than him..and when he realizes he’s almost out of money he spends it on a huge frat rager like any decent minded individual would do…if this isn’t frat ..then u obviously suck

    14 years ago at 7:30 pm
  4. frattacular

    1.) Sterling Archer
    2.) Ari Gold
    3.) Denny Crane
    4.) Carlton
    5.) Patrick Jane
    6.) Casey from Chuck
    7.) Seeley Booth

    14 years ago at 1:58 am
  7. KimBro Slice

    Tony Stark is FaF. He is rich beyond all belief and doesn’t give a shit about other people. He socially destroys people with words and he hazes the terrorists in the Middle East. He slams whomever he pleases and he inherited a huge fucking multi-billion dollar company from his father. TFM.

    14 years ago at 5:03 pm
  8. fratstar808

    I know its a 70 year old movie, but when we do the column for movie characters Citizen Kane needs to be number one. Came into his wealth at 8 years old, doesn’t give a shit about his money and just does what he wants with it, slams the presidents niece and a Broadway star, and builds himself the most bad ass fratcastle that has ever existed.

    “I’m always glad to be back, young man. I’m an American. Always been an American.”

    “Emily: Really Charles, people will think…
    Charles: …what I tell them to think.”

    Doesn’t get frattier than that.

    14 years ago at 5:36 pm
  9. PearlsOnPhi

    The frattist TV character of all time is, without a doubt, JR Ewing from Dallas. Hazing that disgusting, weasel, GDI Cliff Barnes, running shit at one of the most successful oil company’s in the country (that he inherited), living at South Fork Ranch, sleeping around on Sue Ellen til she went nuts then making it look like her fault, getting shot and still living. “Don’t forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves!” FAF.

    14 years ago at 8:21 pm