Top 5 TFM TV Characters: Part 1
14 years ago

TEXAS—Today we analyze and discuss the top five current television characters that embody everything that TFM stands for. They may be fictional. Some may not be Greek. Hell, some may no longer be on the air, but they are all Frat as Fuck. In no particular order, here are the five frattiest men of television.

1. Carter Pewterschmidt—Family Guy

Peter Griffin’s father-in-law and owner of U.S. Steel; he is an old money conservative with an estimated wealth of over $7 billion. He is a member of the Skull and Bones, and plays poker with the likes of Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and Ted Turner (whom he despises). He employs illegal immigrant laborers to maintain the landscaping of his frat castle, and believes homosexuals should be deprived the right to vote. He dislikes his daughter’s middle-class husband to such an extent that he offered him a $1,000,000 check to never speak to her again. He is a war veteran, has an addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol, and believes the secret to happiness is money.

“You can have five dollars, if you pick it up from this jar with barbed wires and salt.” – Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes France:

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes Peter:

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    3. Frataholic

      Nucky Thompson is the fucking man. He runs a city, dresses well, drinks all the time and doesn’t take shit from people.

      14 years ago at 4:32 pm
    5. get broasted

      lot of fratty characters on boardwalk. commodore’s the alum, nucky’s right in his glory days, hazing the shit out of anyone who tries to interfere with anyone who gets in his way.

      14 years ago at 6:26 pm
    6. grizzly fratams

      Rothstein relied on nucky to save his ass. Not being able to get yourself out of pinches. NF

      14 years ago at 10:30 am
    1. General Sam BROuston

      I second this….Ari Gold hazing Hollywood= FAF even if he is in California and went to college in the North

      14 years ago at 12:56 pm
  5. Legend..wait for it...Dary

    How is the character Barney Stenson from How I Met Your Mother, not on this list. I’m not saying Neil Patrick Haris should be but the character he plays is FaF.

    14 years ago at 12:32 pm
    4. Fratty McFly

      He works for a powerful conglomerate where no one knows what he actually does, he always drinks bourbon, and he slams anyone he wants. Barney=FAF

      14 years ago at 12:48 pm
    5. BlutarskyTFM

      Yeah, Lee Garner Jr. was trying to get dome from that Salvatore guy and ended up getting him fired. That’s not frat at all.

      12 years ago at 7:20 pm
  6. Uhm.

    No. Barney Stinson is FaF, and needs to top the list. Suits, women, scotch, and corporate America? Come on, people.

    14 years ago at 12:33 pm
  7. Steve GuttenBRO

    Don Draper is the man, but Roger Sterling is infinitely frattier.

    He inherited his portion of Sterling/Cooper from his father, who founded it.

    He’s a military man and served in combat.

    He left his bitchy wife and spoiled daughter for his fine slam-piece secretary before selling his shares in Sterling/Cooper for a massive profit, only to then found a new agency so that his name could stay on the building.

    He once said “I would never buy a sailboat…I don’t want to do things myself.” and “My generation, we drink because it’s good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it’s what men do.”

    Even though he is married to one of the finest pieces around, he still slams Joan Holloway.

    14 years ago at 12:39 pm
    2. fraternizing with the bronemy

      1. Lee Garner Jr.-big tobacco from the south, inherited company, always has a scotch in his hand and has even Roger Sterling kissing his ass
      2. Roger Sterling
      3. Don Draper
      4. Saul Goodman (breaking bad lawyer)
      5. Stan’s uncle on south park..gotta have a hunter in there somewhere.

      14 years ago at 2:47 pm
    1. let's go fishing

      holy fuck yes. womanizer, republican, drinks, smokes, shoots child predators, FaF

      14 years ago at 2:16 pm
    2. Doc Holliday

      I was thinking the same thing. He is Republican, owns firearms, drinks single malt, slams another named partner, the list could go on. If the name of the show was Atlanta (or another large southern city) Legal, he would have to be number one.

      14 years ago at 2:38 pm
    3. Frattison Avenue

      I concur on Denny Crane, FAF…too bad he is good friends with the GDI liberal Alan Shore….

      14 years ago at 8:36 pm
    4. FaF

      I was scrolling down the comments to see if anyone else had mentioned Denny Crane. He is indeed FaF.

      14 years ago at 9:44 pm